"LIfe After Wrap"

so yes after long awaited time and delays with various people my security book is now available for everyones enjoyment. Warning this book may be addicting and contain some material aimed at mature audiences! Welcome to my world of the dark side of security!

https://www.createspace.com/3645620


Rj

"Fast Cash"

Tonight I’m in a different kind of jungle. My base camp is on Union and James Woods in Los Angeles, not a very good area. The show I’m working on is a movie for the Hallmark channel. Lucky for me its raining pretty hard. But for some reason it doesn’t keep the dirt off the streets. Sure enough I catch this girl jumping the fence and into our camp. I confront her. She’s dripping totally soaked. Her make up was smeared from the rain. The bruises on her arm looked as if someone used her for a punching bag. No jacket and dressed as if she just came from a club or worked the streets.

GIRL: I need to hide, their coming for me!

ME: Go hide someplace else.

GIRL: You need to help me security guy. There not far behind me!

ME: Don’t go brining your trouble here.

GIRL: I’ll pay you 2 thousand dollars to hide me in one of these trailers!

She brings out tons of folded bills in her hand. There were more bills stuffed in the bag she was carrying.

(wow 2 thousand bucks just to hide her in here)

ME: Sorry, no can do. You have to leave now.

GIRL: Fuck you then! I was trying to make you some fast cash asshole! Fuck You!

She runs to the other side of the parking lot, then climbs the fence and makes her way down the street. Two minutes later this car comes screeching from the alley where she  just come from. This guy jumps out of the car holding a gun.

GUY: Hey you see this girl running around?

ME: No.

GUY: FUCK!!

He jumps back in the car and they keep on driving. Whatever that girl did, hopefully she got away, who knows what they would of did to her if they caught her that night, more less done to me if I would of helped her out.

"Verizon Commercial"

I remember working on these commercials back inthe day when it was just the Verizon dude and not the huge crowd of people they call the Network in today's commercials. It's weird cause I always thought they used computer graphics to add the Network in on their commercials, well I can say they don't. They use many and I mean many people to fill those spots. Today we have a 400 extra background call.. Normally on cattle calls like these you have all types of werid background folks showing up on set but for some reason the  majority of people that showed up were actually hot, I mean even some of the guys looked fuckable.

 (I know that sounds gay, which i'm not!!! But these extras were really hot looking)

I was talking with some of the Agency people and they said they made sure that their extras were hot looking especially the women. I'm not sure if it's weird or maybe it's just Hollywood but even some of the female Agency  peeps were talking how they just wanted to go up and grab some of these woman's asses.

 (now if us guys were to talked like that on set it would be considered Sexual harrassment, hmm. Go figure)

We had so many people on the crew that we had to have 2 catering trucks, one for the crew and Sag extras, and the other for the non union extras.  What I really hate is answering every person where to go to check in at.

 (now if people can't see that huge long line with people holding their clothes then somethings wrong)

EXTRA: Is that the check in line?

ME: No, it's the bathroom line. (I lied)

EXTRA: What the fuck.

ME: Yeah, I know, I guess when you have to go you really have to go.

I point to another section of tables with paper work on it and told people to go over there.

EXTRA: Cool man thanks.

(I know I'm being an ass right now, but my crew call was 3:30 in the morning, who in the hell works at 3 in the morning? Not only that but do you know its really annoying when you have signs posted everywehere for crew to park and when people drive up what's the first thing they ask. "Is this Verizon?" Sometimes i just don't know what to say, I mean the sign i'm standing next too says Verizon. It could get really irritating especially at 3 in the morning. How many people do you know work at that time of day? Well other than drug dealers and hookers. Okay so I was just a little cranky)

I hate having  to tell people where to go and the job of kicking someone out of line just cause their not union so I assigned one of my guards in that spot while I went to go and park some cars in the crew lot. When breakfast was done I switched back into basecamp. I ask my guard how things went.

GUARD: It would of went better, but alot of these extras were pissed off, someone told them to stand in the wrong line. people were late and things were all screwed up.

ME: Damn, I hate when people do that.

GUARD: I don't know, but everybody was all pissed off.

(Yes I know, I'm an ass at times)

Most of the day was the usual crap, kids trying to roam around trailer land, homeless bothering the catering truck for food and so on and so on. I went back to crew parking later that day, since I had to charge my phone. We had just rolls and rolls of cars parking in this church parking lot. I walk around this one isle and come face to face with one of the blonde hotties from the commercial. I must of startled her cause she dropped her asprin jar.

GIRL: Oh my god you like so scared the goosebumps out of me.

(What the hell?)

ME: Sorry.

She picks up her container and opens it. It's filled with white powder.

GIRL: Wanna do some lines with me?

ME: Nah, I'm good.

GIRL: I know your good, you sure you don't want none?

ME: Yeah I'm sure.

She starts to sniff that stuff into her nose.

ME: Besides, I'm more of a Pepsi guy than a Coke guy.

The girl stares at me in puzzlement. I slowly start to walk backwards.

She starts laughing.

GIRL: Oh my god your so freaking funny. (she continues to laugh)

(it wasn't that funny)

ME: Well I'm off to do some security stuff.

GIRL: My body feels so tingly, you sure you don't want your body feeling this good sweetie Or at least feel my tingly sensation?

(I had one of those look at the camera for 2 seconds and smile moments)

ME: I pass, see you on set.

GIRL: That you will.

I walk away just as I get 3 more isles down the way I run into a car load of PA's smoking pot.

They ask me the usual questions "like do I ever see any weird stuff in a parking lot" Yes and No I answer them, but nothing too out their lately. I walk away and just 3 more isles down from the Pa's I come across this car with this girl laying on her back humming. I stop in my tracks, just something didn't look right. I back up and look into the car. The girl wasn't humming, she was moaning. She had one of those electrical devices in her downtown spot with her other hand under her shirt playing with her nipples. I'm not sure if she had her eyes open since she was wearing shades. So after 5 minutes of staring with excitement I walk away (just kiding, it was more like 2 minutes)

I thought what the Pa's had asked me a few minutes earlier. I think this comes up as one of those weird things you never see in a parking lot. Yep, gotta love those cattle calls.

"The White Motor Home"

Tonight I'm working up in Palmdale at this one location where they seem to film at all the time. 4 Aces, you probably seen this location in the Lady gagga and Beyonce music video among many others and movies. I have the night shift, which I pretty much prefer since it's freaking hot out here. When I arrived this morning it was already in the 100's and it was only 7:30 am. I arrive early just incase I couldn't find the location, I get there with plenty of light and walk around the whole place to see what equipment might be left out. I make sure I check my phone for service,

(there's many sites that I worked where we have to phone service what so ever)

I also arrive early so I can stock up at Craft service since many shows now days are not leaving out any drinks out for us. As I'm taking my snackages and drinks back to my truck I notice a old white Mortor home drive by slowly. I think nothing of it since i'm sure alot of people are amused when they see filming going on in their area. I did notice teh people in driving the motor home were very old, skinny and had long greasy hair. I sworn they looked like extras from a Rob Zombie movie. It's dark when they finally wrap, i'm told by the Rep for this location that the guy who  lives in the trailer behind the fake hotel won't be in tonight. So I'm pretty much on my own. It's pitched dark when the last AD finally leaves, I didn't realize just how dark it was going to be here. I forget they had lights up lighting up this location. I walk over to crew parking and drive my truck at the location. I park myself in between the picture cars they leave over night. I park myself here so no one would know where I'm at.

(Usually security guys park their car away from everything which only tells people where he is)

I walk around trying to pass the night away, not many cars drive on this highway, one thing for sure I didn't see any highway patrol driving by like the Officers on set would come check on me. It's pitched dark out here, I here noises from the bushes all around but I'm thinking wild life (hopefully) 3 am comes around when I finally see headlights from the distance. I sit low in my truck, and watch the vehicle come closer. That's when I notice the vehicle is the White Motor Home that I seen earlier. (Can't forget a old broken down vehicle like that) The Mortor Home slows down very slow, then stops in front of my location. I sit in my truck waiting to see what they're going to do. Hell maybe theyre just checking out the location, not sure. The headlights turn off in the mortor home but the engine is still running. They open their side door. It's just as dark in there as it is outside. I still don't make any movements, I'm keeping my post a secret. Not only does no one come out but I start to hear chicken and turkey calls coming from the Motor home. The screams go on for about 15 minutes, during this time I look all around me incase they knew where I was and was coming from my rear position. But i don't see anything nor does anyone come out from the Motor home. I see more headlights coming from the opposite direction, I notice it's the transpo team and catering truck on it's way to me. The Motor home drives off with out closing it's door, the Motor home almost collides with the catering truck when making it's turn as it drove off. When the catering parks in their spot to set up, they ask me "Who the hell that was"  I let them know I have no idea.

The sun is starting to shine and the heat is also starting to rise. I'm asked by the Producers if I can stay to park cars. I tell them no problem. I'm parking cars, while eating my breakfast burrito when I notice the White Motor home driving near us. I stand there looking at the slow vehicle seeing the same old dirty couple staring at me. I watch the vehicle drive by slowly when I hear pounding from the back window. I think it was a older woman not too sure but they were hitting the glass with an hatchet while pointing their finger at me then across their neck. Creepy, hell yeah it was! The Motor home gets some speed and drives off. When our officers show up I let them know what happened that night.

The Officer tells me I should of taken down the plates (which they had none) cause they have a missing report of hikers not being found only their personal belongings and clothing. Great now why didn't the night officers tell me that. The worst part is, I have to come back here tonight by myself unarmed. It's going to be one of those nights

"I'm suppose to be protecting the Bears?"

So since I was already working up in Palmdale my dad told me I should take this commercial which they'll set me up in a hotel for a few days up in Apple Valley. As it is I already had a few hard nights working up here in the middle of nowhere With people coming over with guns and other driving creepy motorhomes threatening with axes. (more in book) and now he wants me to go to this commercial out in the middle of nowhere.

DAD: It's 25 dollars an hour and they'll cash you out when the job is over.

Okay now the job seemed a little more interesting. I just worked in pitched darkness what's a few more nights working in darkness right? right. I made my way over thru palmdale by driving the 138 to the 15 fwy and towards the Apple Valley off ramp. This town seems to be growing, nice homes and new stores, of course my destination was past all of that. I was pretty much in the middle of nowhere. The landscaping for where I was looked exactly like a back drop from the set of "LAND OF THE LOST" (I kid you not) I could see where the trucks where up in the dirt hill and pretty much any of the prepping crew cars. Of course I didn't have the junker I have today i still owned my durango so offroading wasn't a problem. I meet the lovely and sexy Production Manager, she introduces me to the crew. I walk around the area but stay away from the crew doing their pre lighting. The crew wraps up and before they leave one of the Producers walks up to me.

Producer: So we have really really important stuff for you to watch.

I look around and didn't really see much other than the production trucks and some wiring all over the place.

PRODUCER: Oh not here, over here where the set is.

So I walk over with him. The Producer points.

PRODUCER: That's what we need watching throughout both nights.

I look to see 2 huge cages with huge hairy bears sitting in them. around the cages were the trainers making sure things were secured tight.

(Okay so I'm thinking, what em I exactly suppose to do again? I don't remember this is the security training manual)

TRAINER: Whatever you do, don't make any sudden movements around them, don't eat around them.

(Wait I can't eat my double western bacon cheeseburger I have sitting in my car, wtf!)

It was pretty much a list of don't s.

ME: So what if they happen to get out of the cage?

TRAINER 2: Well son, you ever see that movie Forrest Gump?

ME: Yea.

TRAINER 2: You remember that scene Run Forrest Run!

ME: Yea.

TRAINER 2: That's what you do son, you run like Forrest Gump!

Okay so I'm not the slimiest guy in the world but could i really out run a bear if needed too? I was thinking if 25 bucks an hour was actually worth this.

The night was cold, yet very clear. You could see every star, very beautiful. It was so dark that the car headlights down by the road stood out. I made my rounders but kept very far from the bears, if these sucker get out there's no way I'll be able to see them in this darkness. Besides if anyone came around I'm sure they'll shit their pants running into these bears in darkness. The night was very boring, not much to do. I kept thinking I could be home right now and having fun with my girlfriend yet here I am sitting in the darkness watching huge bears. Late in the night a car parked below my area, man I sure hope they don't want to hike up here. They didn't instead they were having wild animal sex. The girl screamed huh huh huh which seemed like almost forever. (yeah things you want to hear while being stuck in the middle of darkness) They finally left around close to 4am, now I just had to get out of the truck and stretch.. I knew for sure that catering will be showing up in an hour or so (they always come early) I keep my distance and walk over to the other side of these crazy hills. The cold wind was blowing pretty good by now. Then the scent of wet animal caught my attention. At first I was thinking it's just the bears, but the bears were on the other side and the wind was blowing in a different direction. What the hell em I smelling. Coyote? I have a pretty bright flashlight, i start flashing everywhere, then my light caught eyes staring at me from on top of the rocks. I couldn't tell what it was, but when it moved down, I knew exactly. Mountain lion! Great, I make my way to my truck as fast as I can with out running ( I read once that lions like their feast to run) I made it back to my truck okay, but the rest of the nights I was there, I only walked around my truck to stretch out.



"Farm? Studio? Haunted House?"

I'm walking around the stage area over in Laurel cyn stages. Ive been doing this for way too many years now and this is the first timeI have ever been to this stage. I guess there are many studios that I've yet been too. It's the film crews day off so I wonder through everywhere talking on my 2way nextel phone (no one uses those anymore) not worrying about keeping the sound down. In my conversation I hear baby cries. I stop in place and try to locate where the cries are coming from. I search the whohle lot and even outside the gate to find the source of this sound. Nothing. I come close to the stage door and there was the cry. I put my ear closer  to the door and hear the baby screams from inside. Must be the janitor's doing their weekly cleaning. I just don't remember seeing them enter the building.  A few days later I let the stage manager know about the Janitor's baby crying. He gives me this weird look.

HIM: They only come on Tuesdays.

That would of made it Sunday when I heard the cries.

ME: Well it came from inside.

HIM: You know this place is haunted.

(Now they tell me)

ME: How do you know that?

HIM: The girl who works on the other side had her pyschic friend come in and walk through the place. She said she saw a family of farmers. Now not too many people know that this was a farm before it was turned into a building back in the early 60's. Even I have encounter weird stuff that I can't explain or smelled like animals in here.

(come to think of it, I never heard any other voices or noises coming from inside)

Were done with this location and moving on to Blue Sky Ranch. Dirt. I hate Dirt.

"All I Wanted was an Orange Bang!"

I'm awake much earlier than I wanted to be this morning, damn this hot weather! I have plenty of time to get myself ready since my copies of my childrens book "Adventures of One Sock" arrived yesterday via UPS. The school Principal for my kids school asked if they can have a copy of my book so they can place it in their library for all the kids to enjoy. I'm thrilled to know and have a book in a school library and just knowing that for years to come kids will be reading my stories. So I meet with the Principal and everything goes well, I even sign a copy for her and the Assistant Principal...

I still feel weird about signing someones copy of their book, I mean it's not like a school year book where you sign see you next year, hope you stay cool for the summer stuff. But like it should sound professional type of thanks for buying my book and giving support I believe. I'm still new at this so i try to write something good.

After passing my cards to some of the ladies in the office I leave the office and start walking home. Now it's only 8:30 am and it's already starting to get hot. I hear it's suppose to be in the high 90's again! I hate the heat! So since I'm breaking a sweat I head over to this burrito place to get myself an ice cold refreshing Orange Bang. Yes I love the Orange Bang drink. I get to the place and get my drink. When I was there I see this stinky black homeless guy talking crazy to himself, as if he was chanting. I'm waiting for my drink this guy walks towards me. 

MAN: Buy me a fucking burrito bitch!

Me: Get the fuck out of my face.

The guy looked realy dirty, the color in his eyes were orange and red, he was really high on something, he didn't like my answer. He starts to scream angry slurs at me. He pulls out this huge crocodile dundee knife from his back pocket.

(What the fuck is this guy doing with a knife that size?)

The guy starts waviing his knife at me in different directions while still screaming. I can see from the side of my vision that the cooks and customers inside the place start ducking as if this guy had a gun or something. I think they were more onedge after the shooting at IHOP. Me, I have all my attention on how this guy is standing and holding the knife at me.

MAN: Motha fucker mexican, I'm going to cut you so much your gonna be a skinny motha fucka! then I'm gonna get this knife and open you up like a can of tuna with mexican sauce pouring all over the ground...

This guy is non stop talking crap while waving the knife at me. I had enough, I jump forward, with my left hand I block the knife and with my right I punch the guy in his face. I ended up giving this guy a combo with 3 hits before he falls back on the ground. I see he let go of the knife and kick it to the side. The guy crawls away and gets back on his feet, his face is full of blood.

MAN: You fucking Bitch! I wasn't done telling you how I'm going to cut you up like a little boy stuck in a hole! You cut me off you fucking whore! Fuck my face, shit my lips are fucking sore and huge than what they wre before! You gave me fat lips you fucking fat mexican!

(Yes this guy was really saying this, he made no sense what so ever when he was shouting)

I felt like Mr. Incredible in the movie The Incredibles, where he catches him off Monologing. I attacked this guy in the middle of his speech, but when someone has a knife in your face all rules of engagement are off. the guy starts yelling at the people in the establishment about getting some ice for his face. They tell hiim no and to get lost because they're calling the polkice. The guy looks at me while he picks up his knife. He places the knife back in his back pocket. 

(I took a pic of the knife in his pocket and sent it to a few of you out there)

The guy looks at me and starts screaming how I made him bleed. He then jumps on his bik and rides off into traffic as fast as he can. This guy jumps out of his truck.

TRUCK MAN: What are you doing? Your letting him get away, go after him!

I'm thinking, really? For one It's freaking hot! 2. I'm not a super hero.

ME: You go after him, your driving a truck.

TRUCK MAN: Now he's going to attack someone else.

ME: This isn't fucking Spiderman where uncle Ben is going to get killed!

TRUCK MAN: Spiderman, who's that?

Okay if you don't know who spiderman is, then your not worth talking too! 

I get my drink and walk away. I know the people at the place called the police so there's nothing else for me to do.Everyone else there saw his description so they can give it to the cops. Me, all I wanted was a Orange Bang and now I'm going to enjoy my drink as I walk home.

"Filmore pt. 3"

I remember Tobey Mcguire telling me a ghost story about Fillmore when I worked on his movie he was Producing, "What Ever We Do". He told me about someone staring at him from the outside of his trailer while he was working on "Seabiscuit" at the train station. He told me about this person who would always stand outside his trailer and just stare. He would look out his windows and see this person, he couldn't really tell if it was a guy or a girl, but his assistant seen the person and couldn't find them when they went outside nor did security. That's just one of the few stories that I remember about this location, of course the site rep for the place had his share of stories as well. He mentioned that people would walk into the trains when the fog rolled in, I guess their way of giving up on life. I have to admit that my time working at this location I did see many people wondering around the trailers, and when I would walk up to them they would be gone.  No where in sight, it's llike they disappeared. I also had my share of the shadow people.

( okay so I sound a little crazy, but it's true)

Tonight it's really really foggy, the lights around the station aren't on for some reason, so it's pretty dark. I walk around the basecamp I hear footsteps coming from boots or maybe heels not really sure, all I know is that it's so quiet that the footsteps are the only noise being made. I see a dark image on the walkway coming my direction. I wait near one of the trailers as the person walks closer, I see the image of a girl in a dress. I flash my stream light on them when they get right next to me. Now my stream light is very bright, when I flash my light on the ladie's face she has no reaction. She didn't look at me, she didn't blink, she didn't even get startled that I flashed her with a bright light.

 (any normal person would of least gave a glance my way, but nothing as if I wasn't even there)

The lady was dressed as if she was an extra from the little house on the prairie set. She kept walking past me and down the walkway into the fog.

Weird, creepy, bizarre...At least she didn't rip her head off or charge at me or even call my name (those stories are in the book) So I  take wondering lady with no reaction anyday.

I keep telling myself that I only have a few more days on this show and it's back to the city and away from this small town.

"Filmore pt. 2"

I make my way over to this shitty hotel they set up everyone for this crew. I met with Dickless (Producer) at the catering truck, he tells me no one is getting food money and that I'm lucky that I get a hotel paid to stay. I tell him in response that he's lucky that I stay awake at night and not just sleep thru my shift like many sceurity companies out there do. I go beyond him and talk to the other Producer Al. Al makes sure that I get my predium, even though its only $8 dollars a day. Yes $8 dollars a day. Luckily I been doing this for awhile and I know how to get away with only eight bucks for food. Plus it's always good to know the Catering guys (who are very good at what they do) really well.

I try my best to get some sleep. The housekeeping kept banging on my door which seemed like every half hour. They even call a few times asking what time I'm going to be awake. (Now if your going to hire housekeepers, they should get ones that can read my sign on the fucking door!!)

I arrive back at set, they just finished wrapping. I talk to a few of the cops we have on set. I ask the officer about this town and it's violence. I tell him about the incident which happened last night. They laugh. I'm thinking, okay what's so funny? they tell me how gang violence is high in this town too. There's gang activity every night.

(these gangs must be throwing rocks at each other, cause the whole 5 days I was there, I never heard one gun shot)

I walk around the basecamp with Al, and the site rep. The site rep lets me know the lowdown of the location. He even mentions about this train yard being haunted.

(Why is every train station haunted? Why do people like to tell ghost stories when they know your going to be alone in the dark all night long?)

The lights in basecamp shut off, it's really dark here. It wasn't this dark last night, then again I had the station's lights but tonight their off. Were the only three people left in basecamp, everyone else is gone. We do another walk around basecamp. We make our way around the corner of the make up trailer when someone from the dark comes into view. We must of scared them cause they fell to the ground. I notice that Al and the site rep jumped back themselves. I turned on my light really quick, the person we scared fell back pretty hard. Al bends over to give the person a hand. As soon as I light up the area, there's no one there. Only dust in the air from the person's fall. None of us say anything. the site rep suddenly goes home and Al, he tells me not too mention this to anyone.

Who it was that we scared in the dark, I'll never know. I never knew ghost can be just as scared of us as we are of them.

"Filmore pt. 1"

I feel as if I was driving forever to get to this location. We are definitely out of the film Zone. I arrive at the train station that everyone likes to shoot their movie at. I see pictures and signs of the previous show that was here "Seabiscuit"

I'm waiting for the location guy to arrive and pass me my hotel information and food money. I'm a little surprised that Hallmark actually going to pay for my hotel and food. If any of you worked for Hallmark, then you know just how cheap they are. The location guy I'm waitiing for I don't care too much for. He's this little asian guy who adds to the untrusting backstabbing list in this Movie Industry. Transportation arrives with the trailers.

TRANS CAPTAIN: Have you seen the location guy?

ME: No.

TRANS CAPTAIN: Mother fucker! I knew he wasn't coming.

ME: He better, he has my info and money for the hotel.

TRANS CAPTAIN: Fuck that asshole!

(I'm not the only one who hates this location guy)

Transpo finishes up their set up. The night approaches 1am. Still no sign of the location manager, call time is 6am so I doubt he is coming. Guess I'll have to deal with the dickless Producer Jeff in the morning. I start walking around doing my rounders around the trailer. I see someone running towards my direction. I make my way back to my truck, this guy gets closer and is out of breath and full of blood.

GUY: You have to help me hide, they're  after me.

ME: Who is?

Before I can say anything else, 14 guys run up to us and start beating this guy down hard. One of them turns to me.

GANGSTER: You want trouble ese?

I tighten my grip on my 4 cell flashlight.

ME: It's none of my business.

The gangster nods his head.

I watch how they beat this guy down, dirt is flying everywhere. The guy is able to get away and starts running further down the street. The gangsters chase this dude down. I don't see anyone for another hour. The 14 guys which now is only 7 of them are walking back holding the white bloodied shirt as a trophy from the other guy. One of them gave me the low down as to why the guy was being beaten.

Apparently the guy getting beaten was having sex with one of the gangsters wives when he was at work.

It's funny that this happened. Film crews stopped shooting at Lake Piru which is a few miles down the road cause of gang violence, and here it exsists too. Go figure. I'm stuck in this boring town for a week. This is only night number one, I can only imagine what night 2 is going to be.

"Commercial world is Changing"

You know when theres something wrong with the Film Industry when you work the commercial world and things on set start to get very cheap. I remember just a few months ago when I was getting 25 an hour on commercials, now everyone seems to be underbidding and prices are going down to 15 to 16 an hour. Not bad for just watching crew parking, but when they like to film in drug prositution gang infested areas like Hemet. Yea it's out in the middle of nowhere just like Lake Perris but it's also cheap to live so low income families seem to populate these areas. The nights watching these areas are starting to get more crazier. I think the hard times is hitting everyone so there are more thieves and people looking for a quick buck seem to roam the night more often.

A few weeks ago I worked on this commercial for ANONYMOUS CONTENT in Perris which is next to hemet, (not lake perris near filmore) For one they didn't give any predium or travel time for the trip back and forth to this location.

(good thing Ihave sisters that have houses up on Moreno Valley)

Next they didn't serve breakfast, just lunch. I have no problems with that since I watch what I eat on set since they like to serve just way too much food at times. Pretty much I get full from the snackages (not a real word but it is for me) they pass around. Just this crafty table didn't have any bottle water, instead dixie cups replaced the coolers filled with drinks. Okay I don't know about much of the crew but when Im walking around I like to sip at my water, not too much so I wont have to piss all the time but just enough to keep me filled. I tried the dixie cup thing back on this one commercial who wanted to be cheap with the water too, but working under the 6th street bridge in Downtown LA, sorry but that doesnt cut it. You try drinking from a dixie cup and having all that shit dust just flow into your open cup. yeah not a great site I may add. Some people don't care but going home and smelling like shit and piss from working in these areas, thats enough for me. I don't want to also be drinking shit and piss flavored water. Plus my water bottle I can tuck in my huge side pockets. Plus with a dixie cup  I would have to drink all my water, or what if I want a refill.  I have to get someone to relieve me just so I could get some more water. Oh did I mention the dixie cups are those small cups that the nurses give you when you take your pills. Just standing in the water cooler line behind the sweaty Juicers and grips bring back memories of party animals waiting for the Beer Keger. That's just more time for me not being posted at my spot which only makes me look like I'm not doing my job.

Yes the Production people on this show are one of those assholes who look at you standing in line for water and right away think your screwing around and not doing your job. It's funny cause the Art dept guy who's taking tablets of speed in his car doesnt seem to be doing his job, I wouldn't be in this long bathroom line if they had water bottles instead of dixie cups. I later find out that the crew was given travel time and predium for the job. It still amazes me that security gets unnotice from small little perks as the no credit after a movie. Whenever I see a movie that didn't give screen credit to security on their movie only tells me they either didn't have any respect for the security crew or they had no security on set keeping their equipment safe. We all know everyone uses security on set, we are just that invisible guy who patrols the set until when needed then were the most loved ones on set. 

"Copy That"

Tonight I'm working back at the place where I had my first encounter with ghost back in 95. Linda Vista Hospital in Boyle Heights. This place is huge! I've returned to this place many many times only to encounter more ghost. So when they tell me that I'll be working here alone by myself at night, you bet I didn't wander too much inside the building, no matter how much equipment they had set up inside. The last time I was here we were attacked by the Michael Myers Raccoon, Told off by Roger Corman, heard the singing woman in the basement and had 2 guys quit cause one heard his name being called (long story) and the other geting stuck in the elevators for 2 hours in the dark, his phone the only light he had on him.

(dumbass, never take the elevators, and always carry a flashlight with you, I carry 2 after my encounters with ghost here)

Before they leave I'm told not too let the death guy we named Frankenstein not too enter this property, something about either raping or attacking a female crew person in the building. The site rep lets me know about the front door to the property is loose and I should check it every now and then. (as long as it's outside, hey no problem) I do my rounders and walk to the front of the building and notice one of the front doors is on it's side (shit!) so much for the door being loose. So now I really had to go inside and make sure nothing was stolen.

(being totally committed to my job has it's drawbacks)

I enter the building, quiet. So quiet you can hear a pin drop.
 Too bad outside can't be so quiet, all night all you hear is shootings, choppers and sirens through out the whole night. I pass our first set up, the little church they have in there. I then look down into the wardrobe room, too dark and far to enter in, oh well looks secure from where I am. I make my way to the double doors. I put the door back onto it's hinge, but it's not working. It's broken, I put the door back together the best way I could. I hear something slam to the ground in the far distance. I freeze in place and wait for more noise or footsteps or anything. Nothing.( I hate when that happens) I make my way into the production office. Nothing in the room looks stolen, printers, computers and equipment is still there. I walk into this green room where they have the walkies charging. Everything looks okay in here too.  I start to head back outside.

Loud static noise comes from one of the walkies.. scared the shit out of me since I was still in the room.
Okay I'm letting this place get to me.
Low laughter starts to come from one of the walkies, not sure which one, I was out of the building faster than Speedy Gonzalez!!
The production did give me another gaurd to watch the front doors while I stood in the parking lot watching the loose equipment laying around. I get to go back tonight to the same place (Fukcing Great) Well if anyone wants a free haunted ghost tour, you know my cell number.......

"Under age Girls gone Wild"

Hancock Park. This part of town is known for their huge mansions grumpy neighbors and most burgleries in LA. Anyone who's anyone  has filmed in this area. Today like most of the jobs I do in this part of town is a commercial. Most of the crew is inside upstairs or something. I have the grips and juicers outside setting up lights for the next shot.  Three young girls wearing backpacks walks by me. They flirt with me touching my arms and other parts of my body they all shout "Hi security" I pretty much ignore it. (Sorry but I'm not R Kelly)  besides, the caterer is serving BBq Ribs today. They walk into the house next to us, I make my way over to the lunch table. One rule that Production has and  still hasn't changed is that Security and Drivers eat 30 minutes before the crew. I love that rule.  Lunch today is baked Mac and Cheese not that boiled stuff straight from a box, it's really good! Ribs, baked Beans and cornbread. ( I love cornbread) I over did it by having a shake and baked melted chocolate cookie. My tummy aches!

After lunch the crew is back inside doing their magic while I walk back and forth (need to walk off some of this food) I walk over to where the grips and juicers are setting up around the house. I hear the guys ranting and raving while pointing up. I look up to see what these guys were taking pictures of. Up in the open window in the house next to us were the three girls  who flirted with me earlier dancing shirtless . Well one did have her bra on but the other two were topless. My first thought was, "Is that what 16 yr olds look now days? Why couldn't they look like that when I was in school"

( I'm not a perv at least not in public, but it's true)

 The girls were dancing to Missy Elliots "Get Ur Freak On", the guys down below were really enjoying this, some Pa's were starting to join this crowd. I turn to my left and notice a car pulling into the driveway. This older small jewish man runs over in our direction  shouting at us.

MAN: What you doin? top lookeen at my babies!

(Okay maybe he was Greek, doesn't really matter they're both hairy)

The man gets in front of everybody. He shouts in his language at the girls who don't pay any  attention to him. The girls keep on dancing flashing their breast at the crew.
The man runs to me.

MAN: Curity, you stop these people.

ME: Curity?

MAN: Stop! Cruity stop lookeen or I will cut your chizo!

One of the guys comes up to me.

GRIP: Rj keep him busy, I want to get this on video.

ME: Video? Dude you Rob Lowe or something, I'm out of here.

The old man comes to me again.

MAN: Curity, stop lookeen, or I'll lik you ass!

ME: Did you just say you'll lik my ass?

MAN: lik! lik!

Man starts to lift his feet in a kicking motion.

ME: Oh, kick.

The man starts chasing the crew off his lawn. No one really takes him seriously, they laugh at him. The man finally runs in the house pulling the girls away from the window. You hear screaming and sounds of beating from up there.

I don't know why he just didn't do that in the first place. Weird people live in Hancock Park I tell you.

"I'm Racist?"

Over the weekend I had to work, yep just started a new T.V. show called (Strong Medicene) and this Industry doesn't believe in being off on weekends or holidays. So my location over the weekend is Griffith park up on Cedar Grove. One of the cool spots in the park and also one of the most filmed hot spots. So here I am watching a hot set for shooting this tuesday. The weekend would of went well if I wasn't called Racist. It's been awhile since I've been called that name.

(no I'm not racist, I'm far from it)

I had 2 homeless (african american) guys messing with the set and trying to take stacks of hay we had on set for use of a bed. Now I have no problem hikers walking around taking pictures, but when you mess with my playground then we have a problem, in which I have to take action.

ME: Hey guys, it's cool that you hang here and walk around, but don't mess with my set.

GUY !: What that nigaga just say?

GUY 2 walks up to me.

GUY 2: Look here little nigga I pay taxes and I can do whatever the Fuck I want!

ME: I don't give a shit what you do, just don't touch my hot set.

GUY 2: I pay taxes! You fucking Rent A Cop! You Racist asshole!

ME: Racist?

GUY 2: I bet if I was white you wouldn"t be doing this to me! I'm a black man I deserve respect!

(did he just quote Poetic Justice to me?)

He steps closer to intimidate. Guy 1 also steps into the scene.

ME: Look bud.

I get interrupted.

GUY 2: Bud? Just cause I'm black don't mean we smoke bud. Why you gotta define me with a drug name?

ME: I'll m ake it easy.

GUY 1: Easy! Blacks never have it easy. Foo!

They were both starting to take this too far.

ME: Look you non tax paying dirty diaper smelling homeless piece of shits! Take your caramel nappy hair boyfriend off  my set before I bury your bullshit out here in the park!

They both have this puzzled stare on their face. After a few moments of them looking at each other they walk away screaming more racist remarks at me.


Me racist? I guess I am racist. Racist of ASSHOLES!, and they come in all different colors.

"LA Parking lot"

street. They're building a huge skateboard ramp for a car commercial. Across the street there's another commercial going on. I know a few of the people in that crew. As the day passes I notice these really hot looking latina chicks walking through the alley way smiling at me. Wow, em I really that attractive? I asked myself. The homeless guy who cleans the club next to our location came up to me and asked if I liked what I saw. I just mentioned there are some cute girls wondering these parts of the streets.

HIM: They"re Hookers.

ME: what? You Serious?

HIM: They're  girls who pay coyotes to bring them over into the states. So they work off their fee by making money for them.

He points to one girl.

HIM: You see that one, she's been here for 3months. The rest of them are new, I don't recgonize them. But the new one with the long legs seems to be the popular one. She has more customers and regulars than the rest.

Sure enough I kept noticing the same girls walking thru the alley way and into the Arcade down the alley. They have many rooms set up in that arcade. When they walk down the alley with their customer he or she will either walk ahead or behind them as if they're  not with them. A guy from the Arcade will watch the bac kdoor and if any cars drive by he will lock the door till its clear. I hear the police tried to catch them once or twice but failed every time. It's a shame to see these girls in that situation. If you look at them, you would of never thought they were hookers. As the day passes I see them going in and out of the alley way. many of their customers were dressed in suits. i seen some security guards many and I mean many guys who i swear look like undercover cops. Here I thought them staring at me I was good looking. So much for that...

"Where The Critters At?"

One thing I have to admit about working Commercials is parking the crew early in the morning. Everyone wants to park next to their trailer to donwload or just be close. They'll tell me, "I'll be 5 minutes" What that really means is they're parking in that  spot all day. The best thing is when I'm out in the open directing cars where to park and when they just fly by me, I have to go and put them in the right spot, I always get " Why didn't you tell me before I turned off my car" Of course my nice response is " Well dumbshit, if you were paying attention to me, you would of known where to go and we wouldn't be having this conversation".
Our basecamp is so huge (8th and Francisco in LA)  So I could see how someone could get confused, but if everyone followed the signs, then they wouldn't have any problems. Nice car pulls up next to me...

GUY: I need to park over there.

He points over to the trailers.

ME: You background?

GUY: Background? No, I'm Atmosphere talent.

(I know it's only 5am but I'm not that stupid)

ME: Okay Atmosphere Talent parking is over there.

I point to the furthest of the huge parking lot.

GUY: Why way over there?

ME: Are you Client?

GUY: No,

ME: Are You the Producer, Director, Talent?

GUY: No.

ME: Are you fucking the Producer, Director Talent or anyone from the Agency?

GUY: No.

ME: Well that's why your parking over there.

The guy speeds off quickly down the parking lot. Now if he would of been cool with me and just say he's background and not pull that "this guard is stupid and use Atmosphere talent on me" I would of parked him much closer. We have over 400 extras today, on the other side of the parking lot is another commercial. I park everyone in our crew and chase out the other crew cars from the other production. I grab my breakfast then I leave my guard the details of basecamp duty and head over towards set. I walk through the parking lot and notice the other security guard (Trojan Security) giving me dirty looks. (alot of other security companies hate us!)

We film on the corner of 8th and Figueroa, damn this place is so busy and crowded with people. All day long were at this location and all day I couldn't put my finger on it but something was missing. My attention is taken to the RTD bus that stops on our corner, the bus driver and one of the passengers is fighting. The passenger gets out of the bus and runs up to one of our retired officers we have on set

*MENTAL NOTE*

The officers you see on a movie set are not active, they're all Retired, Bickering Racial, Grumpy Older men that are over paid guys who do nothing but sit around and eat off the craft service table sleep sitting on their bikes, read the paper all day long ( I really mean that, never seen someone stretch out the paper for the whole day before) or hang in the Moho trailer all day long. The worst part is all they do is complain about how they just came off another movie last night and they had no sleep and their making all this money. I always tell them, if you hate what your doing, then retire already for good. you old cranky bastards
So our officer on set tells the lady what anyone of us would of, call the police yourself. The police show up, apparently there was this passenger who was just about to get on the bus when the driver closed the door on them before they could fully entered. The only thing is the person's arm was caught and the bus dragged them for about 50 feet, before the passenger behind the driver and other passengers joined in to help the person being dragged by the bus, ( I wonder if this story will make the news) started beating on her.
Everyone on set starts talking about the incident, when this couple behind me ask the same question. I look down and realized what it was that I haven't seen since I been here.
The couple was in their mid 40's, they were walking their dog.

ME: That's the first dog that I seen today, matter of fact first critter that I seen today.

Now when I say critter I mean Rat, Roach, stray cats, or stray dogs, things you see in LA. I didn't even see any Pigeons!

WIFE: It's funny that you say that, cause since the New LA has been in progress there's alot of things missing.

ME: Well I'm just talking about the usual Rats, and Pigeons that flood these streets.

MAN: That's becuase their killing the pigeons too.

ME: Who is?

WIFE: The City.

MAN: Ever since these fucking yuppies have been moving in to the city, the Government is doing everything they can to clean this city up in a hurry.

WIFE: Somebody is dropping poison on the ground for the strays, rats and bugs to eat.

ME: What makes you say that?

WIFE: This is our 11th dog in 6 months.

ME: What happened to your other dogs?

WIFE: Poisoned!

MAN: We been mapping out every street we walk, and  know what streets their dropping this stuff at. We have other friends who lost their pets walking the same routes we have.

WIFE: Have you not noticed the homeless are dissapearing? There's no pigeons anywhere.

ME: Do you thinks they're poisoning the homeless too?

MAN: No, their just dropping them off in different neighborhoods.

( I can vouch for that one, seen it done many times. More on that later)

WIFE: You can't sell studio lots for Four hundred thousand and leave trash outside their windows, you need to clean it up  to attract people.

MAN: My belief is that alot of these tai wan restaraunts opening up are using the stray dogs and cats for meals on their menu's, people in this town love  that shit yet they don't know what it is.

WIFE: They think its trendy.

I knew of places in Monterey Park doing this but didn't know about places in LA, mental note.. bring own sack lunch when working in Downtown LA.

MAN: If you see anyone pouring something on the ground, shoot the mother fuckers!!

ME: Um, yeah sure.

What's really bizarre is that this isn't the first time I heard this before.

"What's wrong with this Picture?"

Wow back at lacy Studios once again, feels like I never left. Last time I was here I had that killer hiding under the staircase (Pretty scary stuff) Tonight I'm working on this movie "NEXT DAY AIR" This up and coming Director from the Music video world is shooting this flick. (I gotta tell you, the many and many entourage and hours I did on this show you would think this was a music video movie)

So I'm walking around keeping my eye on the prostitutes and drug dealers doing their biz across from us in the park when a transpo guy comes up to me.

TRANSPO: Did you hear they broke into 2 crew cars.

ME: No, Where were the cars parked?

TRANSPO: Down there. (he points to the end of the street)

ME: Why would they park way over there, when crew parking is right over here?

TRANSPO: Cause their dumbshits.

I find out later one of the cars belong to the special effects son and the other one belong to one of the actors.

EFFECTS: This is fucking bull shit, we have security and cars still get broken into. This is fucking so Ridiculous!

ME: You know that's so true, I mean why would someone park way down the block in the dark and especially in Highland Park. The best part is we have 2 parking lots with security guards in them and both lots have plenty of parking available, yet they choose to park on the street when theirs no security. That does sound Ridiculous.

EFFECTS: Why could'nt you just do your job better.

ME: I did do my job, my post is here not down the block. You been working in this biz for a long time, so you should no better not to park a car down the street away from eye sight.

EFFECTS: Well didn't you hear anything? Aren't you guys like Super Security Guards, isn't that why the line Producer uses you.

ME: I'm sorry but my super bionic hearing only picked up the dogs barking from the pound (which is across the street from us) and the car noise from the  freeway (which is also across from us) so way down the end of the block just wasn't able to be heard. And my infra red eye sight, well that upgrade hasn't been planted in me just yet.

EFFECTS: It's 1 in the morning and the Security Guard has jokes.

He walks away angry. The actor who's truck was broken into was a little more nicer.

ACTOR: I'm not mad at you, it was my fault to park my truck so far away when I should of parked my truck in one of the lots. I was just in a hurry to sign in and do my thing. It's all good brother.

The Special Effects guy must of told crew members about the cars being broken into, cause the rest of the night I kept getting crew members checking on their cars in the lot. I had to keep telling everyone it wasn't in the lot the cars were broken into but way down the end of the block. That's one little detail that Special Effect guy left out.

The night did get better got the chance to meet FERGIE (from black eye peas) she was visitng a friend on another film crew here. wow, is she so hot. Talked to her many times every time she came out to her car. I let her park in our crew parking since her friends film crew didn't have any crew parking. (mental note, bring carry camera on me at al times)

Another interesting thing about that night is after the crew was all gone, around 3:30 am we had 2 prostitute customers fight over the same prostitute who in fact was the ugliest looking creature to walk this planet. After being stabbed twice in the leg the guy finally left in defeat while the guy who won was too beat up to get serviced from the Prostitute. (go figure)

I know one thing, I'm sure I'll be back here at Lacy Studios before this year is up.

"Will You Move Now?"

Pilot season gotta love these months when life is just about non existent. I'm working on this pilot called "THEM". Our location is good old downtown LA in the old Bank Of America building on Spring and 7th street. Nothing's changes in that area other than the idiots paying close to 3 grand a month on 2 bedroom lofts. Today is a night shoot inside the building, the set is really awesome, Star Tours comes to mind. (can't believe I forgot my friggin camera once again) It's close to 1am, I'm hitting my 16th hour (I still have 6 more hours to go) I see the assistant location manager huddle in the corner.

ME: What's wrong you look stressed out.

LOC.: It's just one of those nights. I'm trying to get people to move here and there and no one's listening to me.

The location Manager is the third on this show. The first 2 leads are gone for the night. I'm told to keep an eye and help out any way I can on this one since she's still new to the business.

ME: Who's not listening to you?

LOC: The damn Make up and Hair and Wardrobe people. I need them to move their chairs away from the doors cause the Fire Marshall doesn't want them blocked.

(Make up, Hair, and Wardrobe the three departments where all of them are total bitches! It's very and I mean very rare that you run into someone in those departments that are actually friendly)

ME: Let me talk to them.

LOC: Really? Thanks Rj.

I walk over to the ladies chatting away while sitting in their chairs.

ME: Excuse me ladies, is it possible you gals can move over to the side. Your blocking a fire exit.

All the ladies sitting stop talking and just stare at me as if I said something wrong.

LADY: This is where we sit.

ME: Okay, but can you sit over here and not here.

LADY 2: No.

LADY 1: Excuse me, were more important than you, why don't you go check on my car and make sure it's safe.

All the ladies start to laugh.

(So you wanna play that way huh? okay I'll play)

I walk back to the location manager.

LOC: Well? what they say?

I start grabbing food from the craft service table.

ME: They said no.

LOC: I knew it, the Fire Marshall's going to come in and yell at me. This is not good.

ME: No one's going to be yelling at anyone. Give me 5 minutes.

I walk back over the ladies. I casually walk behind them and pretend to check the doors, instead I start dropping the food that I collected from the craft service table. What people don't realize that no matter what they do to get rid of the homeless in LA, they'll never get rid of the Rats, and in this building there are tons of RATS! One of my guards who worked the night shift here even lost his plate of food from these rats.

I head back to the location manager.

LOC: What did you do?

ME: Just wait, give it around 10 minutes. Maybe less.

I walk outside here the PA's shout ROLLING! HOLD ALL WORK! No sooner did they start to roll film is when shouts and screams came from the Make up, Hair, and Wardrobe people.

LADIES: RATS! RATS! There all over the place!

Many of the girls on set ran out of the building screaming even some of the Producers (hope I don't get in trouble) As the commotion slowed down the Pa's clean up the food that I dropped on the ground.

LOC: Your so mean Rj.

ME: I got them to move didn't I.

LOC: That you did, that you did.

The next morning the main location manager gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek for helping out her niece. Just another day in Paradise.