"Wow, Really?"

So I'm on this baseball related commercial with Tommy Lasorda. In the commercial he helps other baseball fans not to be ashamed of their teams that didn't make it in the playoffs.
 Which reminds me, to all you DODGER fans; ever wonder why they call themselves Dodger Blue? They lose so much and never go anywhere, which make their fans Blue...
Okay our first day we shot over in Long Beach, Tommy Lasorda's character tells this guy sitting up in a tree to come down while a little girl plays the piano. Our next day was at a house just around the corner from our last set and this time Tommy's character has to get a family from hiding under the kitchen sink. Our 3rd day we shoot over at the USC campus, at one of their prestige’s sorority's (That's what they say) I'm watching Tommy in the building, (he didn't want any students bothering him) So I'm looking at the many pictures they have up in the place. Many of the crew and myself notice there's something wrong with the wall of pictures. There's no color. I mean every girl looked blonde, brunette blue eyes, and green eyes. Talk about Step ford Wives society. Today was a big day for Tommy; he wanted to see Maddox pitch for the first time for the dodgers. While they're setting up the TV room for Tommy, since the Clients for this commercial put that together to make Tommy happy. I'm standing around talking to the pa's. Two of them were Brazilian, just something about those Brazilian girls (Muy Beautiful!!)...Things that make you go Hmm. So these sorority sisters were just staring at us.

 PA: Those girls keep on staring I'm going to go over and kick her ass!

(I could go for a good catfight right about now)

One of the girls approaches us. That pa just might get her wish. The girl, tall athletic, beautiful, light blonde hair blue eyes Colgate smile looks at me.

GIRL: We were wondering what Fraternity are you with?

I look back maybe their talking to someone behind me.

GIRL: I'm talking to you. My sisters and I want to know what Fraternity is Security.

I'm stunned with silence.

GIRL: We notice that it must be a minority fraternity.

I had four other guards working with me today, and they're all black hence the minority comments. The girl turns around to her fellow sisters.

GIRL: I don't think he speaks English.

Another sorority sister walks up, speaking in very bad Spanish.

ME: I speak English.

GIRL: Then why didn't you answer?

ME: I don't speak stupid.

The girls are shocked.

GIRL: Excuse you.

ME: No excuse you. Do you really believe that I'm in a Fraternity called Security?

They look at each other. They all answer "YES"

ME: I'm a security officer, you know those guys that roam the campus keeping you safe.

They laugh.

GIRL: Oh my, your one of those guys, my daddy say's you guys make no money.

ME: Next time you talk to your daddy, tell him he's wasting his money on his idiotic daughter in college. I've met Monkeys smarted than you!

This is why I'm a UCLA fan. This conversation might seem a little far fetched, but believe when I say this, It was true... very, very true

Got Deer!

Man it's freaking freezing out here in Malibu! But I agreed to do this Army job for a friend of mine (Dave) the job pays really well and it's keeping myself and quite a few of my guards busy. Good think I go back to day shift when we make our move over to the Hospital in Northridge. It's so cold out here I’m peeing Ice cubes! Not only is it cold but also it's so dark I can't really see anything. The location where we are filming is this campsite for Christian kids. Nothing but brush and trees everywhere. I flash my light in all directions and all I see are gleaming eyes staring at me. Yep, I'm sure staying in my truck for most of the night. I'm so focused on trying to stay warm all night long I didn't realize just how fast time flew by. It's already time for the film crew to start making their way in. The sun is starting to shine thru the trees over towering us. I start my morning routine with parking the cars that are starting to arrive. One more hour and I get to go home yes! Somebody calls me from behind. I turn around and it's the Location Manager, Producer, and 1st ad.

LOCATIONS: Hey Rj can we have a word with you.

ME Sure.

LOCATIONS: Follow us.

We start to walk towards the house where the couple for this campsite resides.

PRODCER: So how was the night? Did you do anything exciting?

ME: Nope, pretty boring but very freaking cold and a lot of creepiness all around.

1st AD: So you didn't have any adventures last night?

ME: Any adventures?

LOCATIONS: Were you in your truck all night long or did you venture out?

ME: I don't get what you’re asking.

We get to the counselors house.

PRODUCER: (points to the ground) Can you explain that?

On the doorstep of the house laid a half eaten deer. The only parts were the deer’s head and one arm; the rest of the body was gone.

LOCATIONS: Is there a reason why there's a half eaten deer here at the doorstep?

ME: Whatever ate it was probably full so they left what they couldn't eat. I don't really know.

PRODUCER: Is there a reason why you hate the counselors that live here?

ME: I don't hate them. (How could I? I just met them yesterday)

1st AD: Well they believe you did this.

I start to laugh.

PRODUCERS: This isn’t a laughing manner, I have to explain to them and set this fire out.

ME: Wait. let me get this straight. You think I left a half eaten deer on their doorstep for a prank?

LOCATIONS: Well there have been much stranger things that happen on a film set that I've witnessed through out my years, how else would you explain this carcass.

ME: So your saying that around midnight I felt like getting myself a snack and took out my Rambo knife ran thru the woods hunting for game cut it up cooked it and what I couldn't finish I left on the door step of the counselors. Then proceeded to go to the restrooms wash all the blood from my hands and clothes before the film crew arrives.

All three stay quiet looking at me.

ME: You fucking kidding me right! You figured "hey lets go blame the fat security guy for eating this deer, he must be hungry at night" and not think hey maybe the coyotes or mountain lions around these forest mountains possibly could of did this.

PRODUCER: You know, we didn't even think of that.

(And he's the Producer, go figure)

The Producer and Location Manager walk away.

1st AD: You know I thought it sounded a little silly you doing that to the deer, but you know I have to back them up. It's politics.

ME: Yeah whatever.

I walk away and over to the catering truck where the counselor couple is waiting for their food. I walk right in front of them both.

ME: I don't believe you actually accused me for eating that fucking deer.

GUY: Well we don't think you ate the deer son.

GIRL: We believe you made a sacrifice to the evil spirits that live in this forest.

GUY: Every year our kids are tempted in doing bad things here.

GIRL: (Whispers) We call them the Shadow People.

Not the shadow people again. Man everyone and their fucking shadow people.

(More about the shadow people in the book)

GUY: Son your soul isn't cleansed. You should go back with us to our house after breakfast and I could help you see the light.

ME: The only light I'm going to be seeing in a few minutes is a headlight from other cars when driving home.

GIRL: Don't say we tried to save your soul.

ME: Yeah because I killed a deer and left it for the shadow gods. Your fucking whack!

I start to walk away.

GUY: (shouts) Who else could have done such a demonic thing in our campsite.
I stop and turn around.

ME: Maybe it was Smokey the bear!

GIRL: (Whispers to the guy) Who's Smokey the bear?

GUY: He's that animal that talks to kids about being safe and not talking to strangers.

GIRL: If he's not godly he must be evil.

ME: What? No, Smokey the bear is the animal that says "only you can prevent forest fires" phrase. And it's McGruff the dog that talks about kids not talking to strangers.

They both just stare at me.

ME: You know what? Fuck you! Fuck your camp! And Fuck your shadow people. I'm going home.

I leave for home. Later that day I get a call from my friend Dave who's the UPM for this commercial.

DAVE: Rj I heard you ate a deer then hit Smokey the bear with your truck.

ME: Fuck you!

It's funny how rumors can get out of hand on a film set. Dave gives me my call time for the next day. Damn it's going to be good to be on the day shift and out of that campsite.

I arrive the next day. I'm called on the walkie we have an emergency in crew parking. I get over there right away and even have a few of the other guards posted near by to make their way over there as well. When I get to the spot I see the Producer and Dave next to my truck.

PRODUCER: Hey Rj, can you explain this?

He moves out of the way and there tied to my truck is a big sized stuffed toy deer with a note attached. The note read "PLEASE DONT EAT ME!!" I turn around and majority of the crew is laughing at the prank.

Yes, it's going to be one of those days

Wait a minute, I'm not that cheap!

I’m Finally sent to a nice work location. Malibu beach, well not really the beach but close enough right off PCH and I can hear and see the ocean from where I'm at.  The sky is crystal clear blue (even though it did rain just the other night) the airbrushes through with this cool breeze and scent of ocean. This location is very quiet except for a car passing by every now and then on the road. My job for this weekend is to watch 1 picture truck, 1 trailer, 1 stake bed and 2 ten-ton trucks, very easy. The location were at is or seems at least high society. They have horse lessons and tennis lessons and art lessons going on here. Pretty much only expensive cars seem to be going passed me inside this ranch. I hear some jazz playing in the background. Luckily for me I bring my laptop and do some writing while enjoying this nice location. More Ferraris start to pour into this place; I hear it's someone's birthday party tonight. This white truck pulls up to me.

MAN: Hey there son, do you mind leaving this spot where you’re parked?.

 ME: Why do you want me to leave? I'm watching that equipment parked right over there.

 MAN: Do you have to be right here?

 (I was parked on top of a hill)

 ME: This is the only place I get really good phone service.

 MAN: But your presence doesn't look good. We don't want to well you know.

 (Here I thought everyone loved a security presence)

 ME: Is it because I'm security or cause I'm brown?

 MAN: Yes, no wait. Don't be putting words in my mouth.

 ME: I didn't. Where do you want me to go?

 MAN: I tell you what, how about you drive down the road a few miles, they have good phone service and you can park in the parking lot till at least 10 pm.

 ME: What about the equipment?

 MAN: Son, nothings going to happened to that stuff. This is Malibu not the hood.

 ME: I tell you what; I'll just park down the hill next to my trucks.

 MAN: Do what you will, just keep yourself hidden.

 ME: Whatever dude.

 I get into my truck and drive back down to my spot, so much for texting or talking on the phone tonight.
When the sun goes down, it gets really dark out here. (Trust me, I've been in some of those movie ranches and they didn't even come close to this darkness) The sky is totally awesome, Stars by the millions are in clear view, and these are the stars that get hidden from the city lights. Lucky for me to keep me awake I brought my DVD player. I didn't want to watch any movies till the music from the party at least stopped; I couldn't watch my movie with Hannah Montana music in the background. So I started to walk around in the dark. I notice some of the partygoers starting to wonder to my side. I flash my light at them. They start to walk towards me. I believe she was the oldest in the group, lady with the fake boobs tells the others to hold on while she handles this.

 LADY: Hi.

 ME: Hi.

 LADY: I'm the mother of the birthday girl, and I was wondering if I could ask you something, better yet offer you something that'll be worth your night

.ME: Oh, really. What's that?

 LADY: (she points) You see that girl right there?

 ME: Which one?

 LADY: The girl with the boots.

 ME: Yeah.

 LADY: She's a really big movie buff and never been on a movie set. And tonight's her birthday and we or just me; I want to get her devirginzed tonight. You know for her 18th birthday gift, actually just one of them cause we just bought her a brand new Denali.

 ME: So you want me to let her and some guy have sex in one of these trailer rooms here?

 LADY: Well that's where your night gets good. I was thinking more like you can take her in there and show her a good time. (She leans closer) You are experience right?

 ME: What?

 The lady grabs my crouch.

 LADY: (whispering) Your not hung long are you, I don't want to scare her off, you know her first time and all.

 The lady walks around me sizing me up.

 ME: Why me, why don't you go inside and get someone else.

 LADY: (whispers) She doesn't really have any friends, besides I had sex with my gardener and it was fucking unbelievable.

 ME: I'm not a gardener.

 LADY: You’re a Mexican security guard. Everyone knows that security guards are poor folks.

 ME: What?

 LADY: Yea, everybody knows that poor people know how to fuck better than rich people.

 ME: How do you figure that?

 LADY: Rich folks, like myself think about money and finances and shopping. Poor people think about dirty stuff and drink tequila.

 (Are you fucking kidding me?)

 ME: You need to take your ignorance ass and Shrek look a like daughter back over to the party.

 LADY: What's the problem. Okay maybe not all brown people are poor; I talk to some of my brown friends that aren't poor, look I'm willing to pay. It'll be the easiest money you ever made. Look, 50 bucks for just going down on her, and 150 bucks for everything.

 ME: What the fuck? I'm not a whore.

 LADY: Look, you don't have to tell no one. I mean I don't have to know if your poor or hell you may be richer than me, well not that rich but at least live in a 2-bedroom apartment. I don't really give a shit, what I care about is making that little girl happy right now. Come on, it's for a good cause. (She leans closer)

 Before I know it, her lips are pressed on mine, I feel her tongue trying to shove into my mouth. I push her back.

 ME: Dude. Get off me.

 I wipe the alcohol taste from my mouth. Strawberry hill? Who in the fuck drinks that shit anymore?

 LADY: Slaps her lips together. Mm, you guys do taste good.

 The birthday girl and the rest of the people behind her walk up.

 GIRL: I thought you were going to make me happy for my birthday. What are you doing kissing him?

 Before I know it they both start argue amongst each other.

 ME: Look, I don't care how much you offer me, and you I hope you have a great birthday party but your dreams of fucking  a Mexican aren’t going to happen.

 GIRL: You offered to pay him! I fucking hate you!

 The girl runs off back towards to the party, her friends follow.

 LADY: You’re a fucking asshole! I would have gone up in price for you’re unworthy ass. Now you get to sit in the dark and fuck your hand!

 She leaves towards the party. I stand there in the dark, thinking to myself. If production really knew what happens at night on their film set, cause I know that I'm still amazed at the crazy shit that happens.

Dog Gone!

So today my girl comes up to me while I'm talking on the phone and she whispers in my ear, that we have a problem in the backyard. I'm thinking to myself what kind of problem, we recently just got a dog so I wondered if he dug a hole and went into the neighbors yard or even yet killed the neighbors dog or cat.
I  make my way to the yard and behold lying on the ground is a dead dog. Not mine but the neighbors. First thought to mind is did my puppy do that? I can hear the neighbor on the other side of the fence calling for her dog and I told her that both dogs are here in my yard. One was alive and running around and the other lay limp next to the fence. I let her in my yard and show her where her dogs are. She first calls for the dog laying next to the fence but nothing. She even tries pulling the dog but apparaently the dog is stuck to the fence.  Lady looks at me. "My dog isn't talking"

ME: That's because your dog's dead.

(Yes I'm blunt)

(Now I just came out here maybe 10 minutes ago and there was no dead dog attached to my fence)

The lady starts to cry. I guess what happened is that the dogs leash got stuck on the fence and I would guess choked the dog to death especially if the dog was struggling his way out of it. It's weird I never even heard teh dog whimper or any noises in the back yard. The only think I was doing was watching this tv show (Jerseylicious) I know very stupid show, at times I feel my IQ goes down every time I watch that show.

The dog wasn't dead that long since he was still warm and soft. The lady is confused on how to get her dog loose. (so was I damn you Jerseylicious) But after several minutes of watching a small dog lay dead in my yard I decide to cut it loose. I grab my scissors and cut loose the leash it had attached around its neck. I felt weird touching a dead dog's body. I was more concerned about not cutting open the dogs neck. Thats all I need is me giving the lady her dog with blood gushing from the neck. The lady takes her alive and dead dog away and it made me think.

The last time I had ever lost someone's dog life was working on this commercial shoot up in the MALIBU hills where the homes are as big as people's ego's and wallets. This one house we were filming at they made me stay in the house but I was only limited to certain rooms. Living room, kitchen and restroom. i was told the other rooms were wired with alarms if I was to walk in them. I couldn't even leave thru the front door or the alarm would go off. The owner didn't want their door open, so if Production really wanted security there they would have to be locked inside. So I was. Along with this duty was too keep an eye out for the 2 dogs that lived in this house. These dogs were so loved by the owner so much that they had their own chef, own bedroom (bigger than mine) own walk in closet for their wardrobe. Their own trophy room. (These dog's were winners of many awards and even done some acting in films and tv along with commercials) I was told these dogs are loved and worth more than I would ever be in my pathetic lifetime. (great last words you like to hear from the owners when they're about to leave) Even better when Producers agree with the owners. Pretty sad.

So my night went very very slow. I was able to watch tv, but after awhile late night tv can get pretty boring especially when the cable was locked and all I had was just regular poor man tv. One of my duties along with being bored doing nothing, oh did I mention I had no phone service due to the area and NEXTELS awesome shitty service! I was told to let the dogs loose and bring them in at certain times. The back door had a dog trap for them and I was too unlock that trap door for them. At one point of my boring night I was so tempted to go out that trap door and go to my car and get some stuff or just get some fresh cold night air.  You wouldn't believe how many times I kept telling myself  "yeah I think i can fit thru that trap door, I'm sure I can" Lucky for me I had this new Anita Blake book which I picked up a few days ago, so I started reading and before I knew it the time went very fast and it was close to 5am. I would of kept reading but I heard barking from outside. "SHIT! I forgot about the dogs outside! I make my way to the kitchen and I can hear the dogs barking. I look at the trap door and notice that I locked it. So the dogs were pretty much locked outside for majority of the night. I remember looking out the window and I can see them parking like crazy. When I opened the door I whistled so they can come thru. Both came running. I hear a huge slam at the door. Wow I guess theyre more excited to come indside. I guess I would too especially being locked outside since 11pm. One dog jumps thru whimpering and running straight towards their room. The other didn't. I open the trap door all I see is the shadow. I'm looking at the clock and hoping this dog gets his ass in before the liason arrives in 20 minutes. What really sucks is that I can't even open the door til 6am. I look thru the kitchen window for this damn dog and I see this huge and I mean huge freaking cat (just incase anyone else is watching Jerseylicious and stuck on stupid , yes it was a Mountain lion) jump on the outside table and in it's mouth was the other dog. I bang on the kitchen window (like that would of did anything) The cat turns my direction and jumps off teh table and leaps over the fence and off to the hills it was gone. First thing that came to mind was "Yup that's not good".

When Production starts to show up, I explain (lie) that only one dog came back from their half hour run and play thing. And since the door was locked with an alarm I was unable to check for the other dog. The owners were very very pissed! The wife and daughter said that since I knew the value of the dog I kidnapped him and in a few weeks come back in with  a randsom. The other rumor was I killed the dog and I buried the dog somewhere in the yard. Before leaving the house they even did a check thru my car for any hairs and footprints. I wasn't invited to come back to work the rest of the 3 day shoot. I didn't care but I did feel bad since the dog did get eaten on my shift. The other guard who took my place told me they had this pet pyschic in the yard and the psychic person was saying they had a vision of their dog being happily carried away off into the hills. Well I wouldn't say happily carried off but close enough.

"My Fat Lip"

I found it strange when my night guard called me to cancel his shift for the night. I decide to take the shift, which leads me to the VA Hospital in North Hills.
Friday Night:
We filmed the TV series "On the lot" here many times, and now it's the TV show FACTORY's turn. The empty houses that sit on the corner of the block are the sets they will be filming at. The white second story house looks pretty creepy, but the other single story one looks plain. The crew is still filming so I take my walk around the basecamp, next to us is the mini golf course and next to that is the Crazy Monkey building. I wasn't so comfortable being so close to the building again. They wrap after dark, once everyone is gone, I notice the police that roam the facility drive by to lock the gates, and they never drive in to talk to me. The officer waves from the distance and drives over to the next gate and locks it. Looks like I'm locked in, unless of course I drive thru the golf course to the other side where the closed down hospital sits. I drive the little golf cart they leave behind that night to do my security patrol. I hear music inside the two-story house. I decide not to wonder inside, I'm not in the mood to mess with any “Spirits”, besides, I just rented Spiderman 3. As I'm watching my movie my truck starts to shake rapidly. (Fuck earthquake!) I stop my movie and listen to the radio for any news. Nothing. I get out of my truck, no wind. I look around and nothing. An hour later, while listening to the radio my truck shakes again, I jump out of my truck and look around with my light, I even look under my truck. Nothing. I see someone walk around my trailer. I make my way over to the trailer and once again nothing. The rest of the night I ignore the shaking of my truck and the shadow people behind the trees and trucks.

Saturday Night:
When I arrive back tonight, I dare not mention anything that happened last night to the crew. I don’t want anyone to think I’m “Nuts” So I keep the shadow people and truck shaking to myself. When the crew leaves I do my security patrol. I walk all around the two-story house. They turned off their music this time around. Good. Later that night I start watching another DVD movie, I hear crushing leaves. I lower the volume to the movie, I don't see anyone out here, I look to my left and then to my right. SHIT! Someone is staring at me! I get out of my truck with my four-cell flashlight tightly gripped to my hand. The person is gone. Nowhere to be found. To get the jitters out of my system I do a rounder around the place. As I get closer to the two-story house I could hear music. I make my way to the front of the house; the music seems to be coming upstairs. Instead of entering the building I flash my light thru the windows, I flash the 2nd floor window, and the music stops. The front door slowly opens slightly with that old creak noise.  The door stops half way. I shine my light at the door, fuck that! The guitar music starts to play again upstairs; I make my way back to my truck. The rest of the night I had to deal with truck shaking, people walking in front of my truck or standing in front of my truck staring at me. I understand why my guard didn't want to come back.

Sunday Night:
I wasn't going to come back tonight, but I hear there's another film crew that's going to be here, so I wouldn't be alone since they have one of their guards working here too. This show is big budget since they have equipment and camera “Tents” everywhere on this property.  They wrap early tonight, it's just barely getting dark. The site rep is the last person to leave this time. She calls me over to her.

REP: Hey Rj, can you come with me to the house over here, I have to make sure the power is off.

 ME: Sure. (Damn It better not be inside!)

We walk to the front of the house.

REP: I need your light please.

I give her my light.

REP: I need you to hold it please.

ME: Um, sure.

We walk up the stairs to the front door. We stand in the doorway.

REP: Okay now thru those doors is the kill switch.

ME: Why you telling me that?

REP: So you can shut the power off.
 Now I know there's something wrong with this house when the site rep themselves won't go further in the house by themselves.

ME: Why do I have to do it? You’re the site rep.

REP: Okay, we'll do it together.

ME: That’s fair.

REP: (giggles) You know huh?

ME: I know the yard has to be with all the crap I've seen.

REP: Oh the yard used to be...

I cut her off.

ME: I don't even want to know.

I don't even want to know if this place was some historic gravesite of some sort.

REP: Don't get me started with this house, your not suppose to enter this house alone.

ME: What makes this house so (in the corner of my left eye I see someone behind the front door)
.
Before I could even finish that sentence the door WHACKS me in my face. For 2 seconds my vision went white, but I did see the shadow of a person run into the room next to us. Out of instinct or just plain anger I follow the person into the other room that leads to the kitchen. I hear the Rep scream; I follow the footsteps, which turns to the hallway to the front door. I see the Site rep with both hands covering her eyes. I hear running going up the stairs, but don't see anything.

 ME: Where did he go?

 REP: It went up that way.

 The site Rep points upwards on the staircase.

 ME: It?

 This loud crashing noise comes from upstairs.

 ME: Oh shit! What the fuck was that.

 I start making my way up the staircase. The Rep pulls me by my arm.

 REP: I wouldn't go up there if I were you.

The stomping up stairs stops at the top of the staircase. One step at a time the sound starts to come down the stairs. And yes, there's nothing there. It could have been the anger or the pain in my lip, but I was pissed.

ME: Fuck you guys!

I walk out of the house. The site Rep follows, as she closes the door, she whispers something back into the house, sounded like sorry or hope we didn't bother, not too sure, I just kept walking back to my truck. My lip hurt and I could feel the swell get very big. The site Rep runs up to me.

REP: You okay sweetie?

ME: Does it look bad?

REP: It looks big. I'm so sorry; I didn't want to go in by myself and well. Fuck! (She starts to wipe tears from her eyes) I need a fucking drink! (She lights her cigarette with her shaky hands) You need anything honey?

The “Spark” from her lighter lights up our area. She offers me to “Smoke” with her, but I tell her I don’t smoke.

ME: No. (I'm still angry about my lip. I start wiping the blood from it)

REP: This is a story you can tell your kids some day huh? Fuck! I so need to get drunk right now! We need to drink.

ME: I can't, I'm working.

REP: Like anyone is going to check on you, this place looks too creepy to be checked on at night.

ME: I have the other guards from the other film here too, so I'm good.

REP: True, at least you won't be here alone. I feel so bad leaving you here alone. God! I don't know how you do this fucking job! Well if you changed your mind here's my card sweetie. Be safe and stay away from the house. She starts to giggle.

ME: Yea. What about the power? You didn't shut it off.

REP: It's a federal building; the government has money to pay for it.

She drives away. I tear up the card. I'm sorry but a girl that leads me into a haunted house and not tells me it's haunted is a girl I don't want any part of. I start to ice my lip. 2 security guards from the other company drive up to me. They get out of their car.

ME: They have 2 of you guys working this spot?

GUARD 2: No, my post is over the way in that parking lot over there.

So why are you over here?

GUARD 1: Hey vato, you look familiar.

GUARD 2: Yeah man, whom you work for?

So not in the mood with all the questions right now.

ME: I'm Rj.

GUARD 2: your senior’s boy?

ME: Yeah.

GUARD 1: I heard of you guys, I hear you do guards wrong.

GUARD 2: Yeah, homey, I hear you guys think your bad Asses cause you work a lot of commercials and movies and shit. You guys supposedly make all this money and shit.

GUARD 1: Yeah homey, your independent days are over.

ME: Whatever dude, your so high and mighty. Why you here at this post with this guard. Who's watching your stuff over in the parking lot? Do you guys even have guard cards? Plus, it's freaking dark out here, and yet I don't see anyone of you carrying a flashlight. What fucking kind of guard are you?

Both of them stay silent.

ME: I take it from your silence you don't have a fucking clue.

GUARD 2: Hey man, don't be so fucked up.

GUARD 1: Yeah, man, we don't care what people say about you. You seem like cool people.

GUARD 2: Yeah homey, chill out. Everybody talks about everyone in this bizness; it's all rumors to get the other security competition no work. You know how it is.

GUARD 1: Yeah, Brother, you have to shit on your competition so you can get ahead in this biz. You know man.

ME: Whatever.

GUARD 2: Look homey; we just wanted to use your restroom.

ME: What's wrong with your bathrooms?

GUARD 2: Fucking Benche tramps locked that shit up and didn't leave us the fucking keys.

GUARD 1: Yeah homey, I got to take this fucking mean ass shit!

GUARD 2: Your trailers open.

ME: No, but they did leave the restroom clean and running over in the white house, just upstairs to the left.

GUARD 2: Fuck, that place looks fucking Freddy Krueger scary and shit dark.

ME: Well, that's where the restroom is, take it or leave it.

GUARD 1: Well fuck it, I'll take it.

They both start to walk towards the house. I could hear them talk. "If Rj would of said no to the restroom, I would of fucked his shit up, you know what I mean homey" "Hell yeah, fuck that punk ass nigga"
I sit in my truck listening to the radio. 20 minutes has gone by when I see the two guards running towards my direction. The first guard gets into the driver seat.

GUARD 2: I'm fucking out of here; watch my shit for me homey!

The other guard starts to pound the passenger door.

GUARD 1: Open this fucker up asshole! Dude get the fuck out of here!

The guard is let into the car; they drive off at full speed thru the golf course. I watch them ruin that nice green grass. They go over the curb and continue speeding towards the street. In the morning the other security company had to explain why there was no guard and the tire tracks in the nice green golf course they have there. The site rep had that hang over look in her face.

REP: Rj, what did you do to those guards?

ME: Nothing at all. (I smile) Nothing.

Sex in Hollywood

Ever since this whole scandal with Kristen Stewart and the Director of the Snow White movie has been out in the open for everyone. People are acting as if this is the first time Sex in Hollywood has happened. But it hasn’t. This has been going on for years and years. I worked in Hollywood running a security team and I even wrote a book about it called “Life After Wrap” and in my book I talk about all the crazy things that go on during a Film set, and sex is one of them.

I even talked about the organization out there for woman who are arm candy to many celebs and Producers in Hollywood. The main lady tells her girls to make sure they have 2 kids before they turn 35 so that way they are secured with alimony when their husbands turn them in for younger arm candy. What started off small turned into over 80 members when I last talked with the lady who by the way gets a commission from the girls for her advice. This is back in 2007 so you can only imagine how many more members joined.

Sex and weird sex fetishes happen all the time on set, just no one talks about it or it gets leaked in hopes of getting some money in return. I’ve been to parties where I seen Major Actors in huge Hollywood Blockbuster hits having sex with men while their wife is upstairs having a thrill time being chained to six partners all having sex. I kicked out celebs from certain parts of the houses were I was told to keep everyone out by the owner having sex. I was even driven up to Sacramento to make sure this big super star Actor would not get caught by his wife and paparazzi over a 3-day weekend. Next to drugs, Sex is everywhere on a film set. I myself had some encounters with celebs on set. (If you read my book you know what I’m talking about) I’m not even that good looking yet here I was with one of the hottest girls on TV for FOX.

There are many reasons why people keep busy in Hollywood, what’s that saying: “It’s not who you know but who you blow” Others call it the Casting couch. Me, I call it being lonely. You work over 60 to 79 hours a week, which equals no life. And if your spouse is not around then who else is going to satisfy your sexual need? There’s no excuse no mater what for cheating but I seen it happen all the time on set. But everyone knows that Production romance don’t last, it’s rare that if it does.

I hate when people who cheat use the excuse “I was lonely” I always say if you’re lonely then buy yourself a dog.

I can go on and on about the many sex stories I came across from working in Hollywood and doing jobs that no one else that was trusted to do so. I could talk about the this one Producer, huge in Hollywood who likes to play dead in a casket while having young girls fuck the shit out of him while he’s laying there playing dead. I could talk about the Actors that like to dress in animal costumes not your hot maid or candy stripper nurse costume but costumes that are straight out look like Smokey the Bear or Woodsy owl.  There’s a zipper down below which allows them to have their sexual encounter while dressed in the costume. It’s a really big thing among the sexual fetish. I remember being on set and this attractive assistant kept looking at me. She was sizing me up. When wrap came around she asked if I try on this Bear suit. Me not thinking about tried it on. The suit seems to be a perfect fit for a fat guy like me. The Assistant tells me I’m perfect for her boss. Not sure what she meant till she fully explained She wanted me to go to her boss’s house this older popular Actress wearing this Bear outfit while I fuck her and let her husband an other known Popular Actor watch us while he jerks off. I would have been compensated $1500 for my time.

There was a time I was working on Tobey Maguire’s movie at his house, one night I see this older lady who wanted to take me back to her house cause she was lonely that night, not to mention drunk. At first I didn’t recognize her but when I did I remember her from movies and she had just started her TV show with her being the host.

Of course sex just doesn’t happen with stars but also in locations you work in. I remember blogging about the old couple who wanted me to join them in their sexual fantasies of a Gardner raping his wife. Now when I say old I mean this couple was in their late 70’s.

I even had someone who loved my security book so much that they jerk off to it when they are feeling lonely. I don’t think I talk too much about sex in my book but I guess enough for someone to like it in that way. Do I feel weird knowing that someone is jerking off to my book at night? It does, just glad I don’t have to hear about details as I did with many people on set. Or see it myself in person.

With the whole Kristen Stewart, it’s going to happen. It does happen like I said earlier in this post; many celebs just don’t get caught. The ones that do are done in a way to hurt their career or someone wants money from them. Hollywood secrets are let out all the time, it’s just about do you really believe it or not. There’s a lot more going on in Hollywood than just Glamour.

"Off The Shelf Catering Food Reveiw"

Ive been on many Film sets and tasted some of the best and worst foods ever from the catering truck. Today's commercial shoot we have "Off the Shelf" catering. The guy's that work for comapny are all very cool and nice guys. I remember this catering to be very good, so you can imagine my excitement when I seen them pull up in the morning. The excitement didn't last too long, the food I remember them serving a couple of years ago didn't match up to the food they served. Now the Breakfast was outstanding, my breakfast sandwich was awesome, the toasted sourdough bread with the melted cheese and eggs, thick slices of ham just made the sandwich so delicious. Second day I had the Huevos Rancheros.. eggs, fried corn tortilla, black beans , cheese and half of an avacado topped with salsa. It was supurb! And lets not forget the freshly baked cinammon rolls, they were to die for! When it came to lunch you could understand my puzzlement when my food looked like a work of art rather than the mouth watering food they served a few years ago. The small portions of FOO FOO dish they were serving left not just myself hungry afterwards but many of the crew members starving for more. One day I had the Chicken Pasta which didn't really have any chicken. It had more pasta and mushrooms. Did you guys buy 1 pound of chicken and cut it up to little pieces to stretch it out for the whole crew? The chicken I did taste had more of a lunch meat type of chicken flavor. There were two giant pieces of Asparagus topped with tons of Sprouts which looked more like Clover leafs. The best part of this meal was the Garlic bread. The bread was just crunchy with a fresh garlic buttered middle. Excellent!. The next day I tried the BBQ chicken, which looked more like shredded beef. The chicken had a smoke taste to it but not even the over doing of celantro was going to save the taste. Then again maybe it was mushy so no one would notice the tasteless Mac and Cheese that was hiding underneath the messy so callled bbq chicken. The two combinations did not make a great taste, who ever told you they would, they lied to you. This day more than half of the crew ate out, when asked why, their response was "At least you know what your eating when you go to fast food joints" I agree, I'm still not sure what exactly I ate from your lunch menu's. Whatever happened to the Grill and actually BBQ real chicken and not process shit? Your FOO FOO plates seem to be your trying to impress fellow Producers to maybe invest in a FOO FOO Restaurant. Save that for private parties and bring back the awesome food you once served a couple of years ago. Many stomachs will thank you and toilets will also thank you. 

Update

Thought I would give everyone an update of what i have been doing lately. Well for one, I'm thinking of doing Kickstarter to help finish paying for the 2nd childrens book of "Adventures of One Sock". I emailed the Artist and hopefully a cover art will be available very soon. Also lately I have been working on the 2nd part to my security book "Life After Wrap", there's a lot more going into this book so if you like the 1st book your going ot love the 2nd part. 

I also completed my book trailer for "Life After Wrap" for those of you who have yet to check it out here's the link:

http://youtu.be/1r9tqyUnmOM

I will be making another trailer for "Life After Wrap" and a book trailer for "Adventures of One Sock", stay tuned for more into.

I have writing scripts lately and have submitted two of my scripts on the Amazon Studio page:

"The Flock"

http://studios.amazon.com/projects/1667

And 

"Death By Dawn"

http://studios.amazon.com/projects/9634

Also been writing short stories and working on another script. I'm also thinking of putting "Adventures of One Sock" into ebook form next month.

For all of you who have been asking when Im pposting another blog from my adventures in Hollywood, one will be up very soon. Til then everyone...

Script Writing

Before I wrote two books "Adventures of One Sock" and "Life After Wrap" I used to write many short stories and even scripts. A few years back I used to ghost write (writing for pay and no credit) before I lost contact with my connection. It's weird seeing movies on the big screen knowing that you wrote it and only got paid a few thousand dollars. But lately I have been getting more into my screenplay writing. I posted 2 of them which you can view and read at Amazon Studios:

http://studios.amazon.com/users/9069

If you do get the chance to read my scripts please leave a comment on my Amazon Studio page. Right now I have been busy finishing up my 2nd part to the "Life After Wrap" series. You can keep updated with my progress on Twitter: @securityfiles.

Til then everyone.....

Karate Kid

It's a nice clear night but no matter how nice of a night it is walking down Grand ave in Downtown LA still doesn't make it look so great. We just finished a scene up on 2nd  and Grand. One of the lead actresses from the TV show "PROFILER" doesn't feel like taking a shuttle back to basecamp so myself and the 2nd 2nd walk her back to base camp. I guess she felt that she isn't needed for another hour, so why not work out lunch which we had an hour ago. I didn't really get a chance to enjoy my lunch since mine was taken over by these huge cat size rats that roam these streets. ALLY  (actress) talks to us about buying her son  a gift for his upcoming birthday. She asks what I think. I say a toy would be great. Heck what do I know about kids, I don't have any. Buy a toy  and Happy meal for a kid and they should be happy. (Later down the road I found out that isn't true)

We walk down the street and coming up to this trendy restaraunt that always has alot of people outside smoking or waiting for a table to clear. I notice these 2 really good looking athletic blondes pointing at my actress. Must be fans of the show. We get closer and start passing the restaraunt when one of the blonde girls jumps in front of us screaming waving what look like a knife at the time to Ally.

GIRL: I'm going to kill you!

Without thinking I step in front of my actress.

NOTE: (Back then I would jump in and do the whole bodyguard as if my Actor was the President. But now days if your an asshole I'm going to wait til you get punched in the face or stabbed before I risk my life for you. Some Actors just take way advantage and care very less about us who watch their backs.)

The girl starts waving this knife around, I move in and shove the girl who loses her balance and falls to the ground very hard. It also didn't help that this girl was wearing really high high heels. The other girl gets right in front of me.

GIRL 2: You asshole! We were just fucking around!

ME: Yeah, well it's not funny.

ALLY: You girls realize that it's a crime to stalk an Actor now days?

GIRL 2: I'll show you what stalking is bitch!

The girl charges for Ally. Ally goes behind me and grabs my arms and uses me as a shield to defend off this girl. I know I'm a big boy but come on this is riddiculous. Now as for the second girl, well she wasn't wearingany  high heels it was more like Keds sneakers. She was well balanced and focused that she starting kickboxing me. This girl is dodging and weaving throwing punches and kicks.

(Who does this chick think she is Chuck Norris?!?)

I'm trying to duck and weave myself but it's kind of hard when my Actress is holding my arms behind me. I look to the 2nd 2nd for maybe he might either pull off Ally or at least try to stop the girl from making me a punching bag. Nope instead I see the 2nd 2nd running down the street screaming for Production. (why he didn't use his walkie, is still a mystery to me)

I finally free my arms from Ally and accidently (Um, yeah I'll use accidently) elbow the girl in the face. She hits the floor and her mouth starts to bleed. I busted up her lip pretty badly. During this whole fiasco, the Valet guys for the restaraunt are laughing at this whole scene. Well all but one who actually did something. Nope he didn't get the Manager instead he went to get the girls family. Family indeed these girls were part of a party that were celebrating her Boyfriends possible NFL draft. The boyfriend was a huge player over at UCLA. Did I mention he had other football friends who are just as big as he is with him tonight?

BOYFRIEND: (taking off his sport jacket) You are so fucking dead. You cheese Dick!

(not only can white men can't  jump, they can't give a good insult)

ME: Bring it on Bitch!

(okay the adrenilene was pumping thru me, not exactly the right choice of words to use)

The other Jocks and father and Uncles and brothers start to loosed their ties and take off their jackets as well.

(Okay I said bring it on bitch not bitches.  I'm a dead man)

Before I was made into the parties Pinata I hear sirens behind me, I turn around and see our on duty officers pulliing up.

 (okay I know we have over 16 off duty officers on set tonight. Where the fuck are they?)

 I see Production running down to us Drivers jumping out of passenger vans. The calvary has arrived.

The fathers of the girls wanted to press charges on me for the twisted ankle and busted lip and teeth I gave the girls. Production threatened them, for assualting their Actress for this huge TV show of theirs. I was told by the boyfriend if he ever runs into me He's going to fuck me so hard my family in Mexico is going to feel it. ( I don't think i even have family in Mexico) I later see the boyfriend on tv playing for the NFL and ran into him at a party where I had to pull of a Macguiver escape. (That's a different story)  Production paid for the girls bill and even for the parties food that night. The knife the girl was waving around turn out to be a butter knife. As for me, I didn't get any thanks from Production for saving one of their stars. Instead I was hushed away over to crew parking for the remaining days I worked on this show where no one would see me. I did however get a big thank you basket from Ally:)

At least somebody cared.

Book Giveaway!

I'm giving away a copy of my security book "Life After Wrap" to one lucky reader! Now you DON"T have to follow or like this page or like that page, nope this is a simple and fun giveaway. To enter, you have to tell me a story about your job in the comments. It can be funny scary, sad so many ways to show off your creativity. You can draw a cartoon strip, write it down, take a picture whatever  you can do to tell your story. This giveaway will be going for a week and on Saturday April 7th. I will be announcing the winner! One thing that I do ask is for the winner post a pic of them holding my book so I can post on my Facebook.com/lifeafterwrap page. So once again just tell your story in the comments and enjoy your week! You can also choose whether you would like a signed copy from me or an ebook version of "Life After Wrap". Good Luck!

"LIfe After Wrap" are true tales of my 15 years running a security team for movie sets in Hollwood. Ever wonder what goes on behind the scenes on a movie set? Now you can read about it!

"LA Story"

Today should be a fun day. I'm working on the movie "LA Story" With Steve Martin. I've enjoyed his movies and thin he's a really funny guy. When I arrive at set I'm told that I'll be wwatching Steve Martin and his group. Today was a good day. I meet up with the AD.

AD: Mr. MArtin this is Rj, the guard that's going to be following you and your party around for the day.

Steve Martin continues talking with his assistant and pays no attention to me. The AD walks away. I stand there ready to move when he is. Martin finally notices me.

MARTIN: Okay first thiings first. Don't look at me, don't talk to me, don't talk about me. If you need to talk to me, talk to my assistant and my assistant will pass the message to me and vice versa. If were crossing the street don't look both ways cause if I'm crossing the street then most likely the street on myside is clear to cross.

ME: You want me to watch you but I can't look at you?

Steve Martin walks away over to his assistant who he brings back to me.

MARTIN: I think my guard is broken. I told him not to talk to me and he did. Can you explain to him what I mean, and if that doesnt seem to correspond in that dome of his then maybe Production should get us a translater in Spanish to explain this in more detail.

(Okay 2 things. 1. I'm going to bitch slap this old fuck by the end of the day. 2. I just realized that hollywood isn't as glamurous as I thought it was. 3. I'm so not supporting this movie when it comes out in the movie theaters. Okay so that was 3 things)

I play his little game but by lunch I can't take anymore of his insults and little games, so they decide to switch me to crew parking. I rather be doing nothing and getting paid for than eating shit from an asshole and getting paid for it. Then again I was told the reason why they switched me out is because I didn't get the Assistant their lunch. Sorry but I'm Friggin Security not a Production Assistant!!

So Glad your not my Granny!

Today is the 3rd day of this 4 day commercial. I just love being in that commercial loop. Great pay, great food great people (well sometimes great people) Today's location is in the mid Wilshire district, we film at this corner location that I've been at before working on different features. We have our trucks parked on the side streets in the residential area. Mostly mid 30's and up reside in this populated area. I notice this older lady that I havent seen around this area today. She keeps asking crew for money and their cans and plastic bottles. The lady had to be in her late 70's easy. Wearing this faded white dirty dress with no bra on, leaving her saggy tits in view. I'm walking around the trailers when one of the P.A.'s comes over to me.

PA: Rj we need you over to set. We have this crazy older lady stepping in front of the camera.

ME: Why don't you get one of the retired cops we have on set who's suppose to be in charge of traffic instead are sitting down relaxing in the air condition production trailer?

PA: Come on man, what are those old geezers going to do?

ME: Good point.

(It's true I never seen any of these officers get into any confrontations, well actually only once i've seen that ever happen. I still think these cops we have on set are over paid)

I walk over to video village where I see the old lady shouting at the clients.

ME: Miss, I need you to step away please.

The lady looks at me with that "I know you" look on her face.

LADY: Fred? Fred, how you doing?

ME: Sorry lady but I'm not fred. But I do need you to walk this direction away from the crew please.

The old lady follows me away from the video village. The Producer walks up to me.

PRODUCER: What ever you do don't harm the lady please.

ME: I'm not going to harm the lady just moving her out from our video village.

PRODUCER: Just please don't harm her in front of the clients please.

I'm trying to listen to the producer as the old lady starts to scream.

LADY: Fred why did you make me do it! Why Fred! Why!

I look back at the old lady screaming when out of nowhere I'm struck in the face with a right hand from the old lady. I step back while the old lady is trying to give me an uppercut. I dodge the swings this lady keeps throwing at me. Now I haven't really been in a situation with someone as old as my grandparents so wasn't really sure what to do here. I look around and see if anyone is going to help but instead I see shock faces all around me. I see the retired Police officers looking out the Production office laughing. (Lazy Fucks!)

My other guard comes running over to my side. I tell my guard just wait it out til the lady runs out of breathe which she finally did. I helped the location manager walk the lady back to her apartment complex. After the jokes and teases from people on set things go back to normal. We start to hear someone screaming from down by the trailers. The P.A. Calls me over once again and tells me that my girlfriend (The Granny who punched me) is shouting from her balcony.

P.A.: She's like screaming craziness.

ME: What do you want me to do? She's not in our set, I can't do anything. Call the police.

P.A.: Well you have to do something.

ME: That's not my department. That's locations.

The Location manager comes over to us.

LOCATIONS: Ask the officers we have on set what we should do.

The P.A. Calls the officers on the radio. They reply "Call the police".

LOCATIONS: Okay call the police.

(Isn't that what I just said?)

The police arrive, Locations and myself tell him the situation. The lady comes out on her blacony screaming once again.

OFFICER: I take it that's her.

LOCATIONS: Yep.

OFFICER: Why aren't your police you have on set doing anything about this?

ME: They did, they said to call you.

OFFICER: Then what's their job?

ME: I'm still trying to figure that out myself.

The officer wants me and the Lcoation manager to go up with him to the ladys apartment. We get to her door, It's halfway opened. The Officer opens the door more, this foul stench escapes from the apartment.

(Much worse than the Teamster office trailer)

We see the lady sitting on a chair with her back to us. The officer calls out to the lady. The lady doesn't respond.

OFFICER: Hey security walk inside and see what she's doing.

ME: What? No way dude I seen the movie Quarantine. Next to African Americans, Security guards have the next highest death rate in a horror movie.

OFFICER: Are you kidding?

ME: Isn't it your job to go inside?

LOCATIONS: He's right, we just came up here to show you were she lived.

OFFICER: Well I'm not going in alone.

We agree that we all walk inside. The old lady jumps from her seat screaming her head off. The location manager throws his bottle water at the woman. (not sure why, maybe he was scared) The lady falls to the ground. The officer tells the lady if she doesn't calm down he's going to restrain her. The lady stays on the ground. The officer calls for a paramedic. The lady passes out.

LOCATIONS: Shit I killed her!

OFFICER: I think it's something else, she's still breathing.


Sure enough it was something else. When the paramedics arrive they say the woman is dehydrated. There was no food in her Fridge and the water in the apartment was shut off. Oh and the stench coming from that place. Well that was from 5 skinned cats this lady had hanging in her shower. I guess this lady really lost it mentally. I wasn't able to eat lunch that day or when I got home, nothing like seeing hanging dead cats to kill an appetite.

Next morning i'm over by the catering truck, (the dead cats site didn't keep me from eating that long). Few of the Grips and Juicers walk up to me.

GRIP: Dude, Rj I heard you got bitched slapped by some old lady and was mad cause she fucked your shit up in front of the crew then later went up to her apartment and shoved a water bottle down her throat then killed her cats.

JUICER: My Brotha Rj we totally have to party with your wild ass!

The cooks look at me.

COOK: Rj, that was you who killed the lady and the cats?

Stories on set just sometimes get way out of hand.

"ASAP!"

My cell phone rings, I try hard to open my eyes. I look at the clock to see what time it is and it's flashing 1:45 am.  (Damn I hope my guards ain't calling me from set to tell there’s trouble I have a 5 am call time and I just got off from work earlier tonight at 11pm. I answer the phone and the person (man) says they got my number from a producer I worked with in the past. The man says I'm trust worthy and keep everything to myself. I agreed. "But did you call me at 1:45 am to tell me that?" I said. The guy says no, that he had an easy job for me. His previous guy he uses was busy. I asked okay what’s the job and where do you want me to send my guard?  The guy says I want you. I let him know I'm already working on this huge TV show right now and I'm not available. I have 64 guards waiting for me in the morning to give them orders. The man assures me it'll only take 2 hours of my time. So what the hell, I take the job, since this wasn’t the first time I've received calls from someone late at night. Before I hang up the man asks. "Aren't you going to ask how 'much the job is?" I said nope. The guy asks why? I said if you’re calling me a.s.a.p. Then it must be good pay. The guy laughs. He proceeds with details of what I had to do, and he'll call me back in 45 minutes for an update. He didn’t give me his number; he called from a private number.

So I'm off to this address in Burbank where he says he client is lost and having trouble getting home. When arriving to the address I notice that it's a park. I've been at this place before, they filmed here more than once I get the call a few second after I scan the area. The man tells me his client is driving this light green classic type of car with so and so license and description of the person. (It’s a girl) I get out of my car and start walking around. I would of drive around but people around here might think I’m a burglar. (I’ve been in so many neighborhoods where they call the police even though my shirt says security on it)  So I'm walking around in the park, its pretty dark good thing I brought a flashlight with me. I don't see the car anywhere but inside the park I notice this black thing. I flash my light and the reflector from the car catches my lights beam. I think why would the car be parked in the park? I get closer and it turns out to be the classic car that I'm looking for. The back passenger door is open. I cautiously look around before I get too close to the vehicle. Just never know with people now days.

I see in the back seat this young girl drunk, naked and laid out on the seat. My first thought was shit is she dead? I get closer and flash my light on her face. No reaction. Shit I really think she's dead. Her face looks familiar but can't figure out who she is. I get the call from the guy. He tells me that paparazzi know of her location and I need to get her out right away. I let the guy know I'm not sure if this is the right person. I look thru her purse and find her id. I let the guy know is this person I'm suppose to be getting. He tells me to hold on. After a loooooong pause he says yes. I asked him what took him so long? Is there another car with a drunken naked girl passed out? He laughed and replied actually there is. I make my way to the front seat and write down the address for the drop off. I close the back door and that wakes the girl up. She looks at me and half stoned and half asleep she asked if we fucked. I look at her and say no. She says are you sure? I assure her and say no we didn't fuck. She lights up a cig and sits in her seat naked and says do you want to? I ignore her and buckle her up you know for safety and all. She leans close to me, which made sure her boobs slid across my face. I look at her and she has this smile on her face.

I get in the drivers spot and start up the car. I get a phone call again from the guy telling me I need to hurry cause paparazzi was very near. I'm thinking how does he know that, but he told me her cell phone has a gps tracker.

So I drive her to this nice huge home in Sherman Oaks and as soon as I drive into the driveway this young guy is waiting for me and tells me to get out. Before I can say anything the guy hands me an envelope, and lets me know that there’s a driver waiting for me outside. He gets in the truck and they drive up the driveway.  I notice the guy I just met wasn't the same guy who I talked to on the phone. I walk outside to the driveway, the gates to this house start to close. I look back and that’s when I hear someone call me. "Hey Rj" I look and out from the dark this young girl walks out with a cig in her mouth. She tells me  "I'm your driver to take you back to your car".

 She doesn’t say a word the whole trip back to my car and neither do I? When I get out she drives off fast. By the time I get back to my car its already 430 am, so instead of going home I head off straight to work. I look into the envelope and its 900.00 not bad I think to myself. Job was worth being tired on set today after all.