"Pep Boy Commercial"

I've been out of work for about ten days due to this damn flu/fever that I had, now I'm much better and getting back into the groove. Today I'm working on a commercial. I hear it's a holiday commercial for Pep Boys. About this tire that's in jail and goes and buys itself a new rim to upgrade itself. (go figure) It's already past 7am and our rep for the lincoln heights jail is late. He was suppose to be here at 6am. The location Manager and other people decide to cut the links to the door and enter the building so they can set up for the shots.

(never cut chains on City property)

If any of you who worked at a city building then you know you never, ever cut the locks with out permission.
Sure enough our rep finally decides to show up to the shoot. It's 9:30, just 3.5 hours late. This guy throws a hissy fit and calls for more back up. 2 cop cars show up, not only do they fine us a hefty fine but they shut down the production, and want to make arrests. We ended up packing up our stuff and moving to the next location a real Pep Boy store in LA on the corner of Washington and hoover strreet. When we arrive we all stand around waiting for direction. Of course no one knows what's going on and when they finally do 30 minutes has passed. We get the call to go back to the closed down jail and finish our shoot there first and then we come back to this Pep Boy store. We move back to Lincoln heights jail, the production company threw back lawsuits at the site rep for the large amount of money they paid and no one showing up. We get back and have lunch, well it's a late lunch but it's something. I talk with the location manager, and he tells me how scared he was when almost being arrested.

We finish our shots and it's now back to the Pep boy store. It's now late in the afternoon on a Friday and driving thru Downtown LA took over 45 minutes just to get back to the Pep Boy store. The parking lot there is chaos, cars every where. They have their own security keeping parking clear but no one seem's to be listening to them. I decide to take charge and shut down gates so traffic can only go one way in and one way out. This lady drives towards my direction.

ME: You can't go thru, the gates locked.

LADY: I have to go out that way.

ME: The gates locked, you have to go the other way.

LADY: My exits that way.

ME: Lady, the gates locked.

Lady gets mad.

LADY: You benche Sheep Fucker!

Lady drives off in full speed.

Sheep Fucker? Damn people are getting more creative with their words. Then again you wouldn't believe what I've been called in my years of doing this. I even encounter bad words I never knew exsisted. The wardrobe lady walks up to me.

WARDROBE: Did she just call you a Sheep Fucker?

ME: Yeah.

WARDROBE: Is there something you need to tell us about you?

Everyone's a comedian on set.

ME: Yes I'm a big bad wolf and I prey on all the gullible female sheep on set.

WARDROBE:  (sheep voice)Your a baaaaaaaaaad boy.

The shoot lasted over 21  hours. My body was hurting from doing these hours from coming back from my sickness. I'm so no not used to this

"Gold Digger"

I'm finally on a roll and fully recovered from my breakdown. (more details in book)  I'm running a big job, just sold myself out to sell a script to this really big producer who doesn't have minorities in his tv shows or on his credits as writers.

(The producer pretty much told me to either sell him the tv show episodes or he'll change them around and steal the idea from me. Oh and He doesn't give minorities writing credit)

 But they did pay really well, enough to buy me my brand new Altima.

This week is really looking up for me, not only is it Saturday (which means no scheduling till Sunday night) but I have a date with this really exotic beautiful sexy back up dancer. Yep, this fat ugly mutt I call a face got me a 3rd date with my dancing beauty.

( when a girl does a lap dance for you on the second date of course the 3rd date is a greenlight)

Were both dressed for the night,  I have a pretty good night lined up for us. ( I try not to tell the date too much, I like to suprise and be romantic, Yes I know both don't exist in LA these days)

Were on the road when my cell phone rings. It's one of my guards something about one of the gaurds for the night just picked up a hooker and took her back to and he didn't pay her for their service,  so now the pimp brought his posse on my set looking for the guard.

(This is why I will never ever run a huge show again. All you find out there are recycled  guards with really bad habits and are total fuck ups!!)

I"m trying to listen to my guard talking who's really starting to freak out on the phone. I pull into a McDonalds driveway so I can hear and pay attention to the conversation much better. I notice this awful look my daate throws at me.

GIRL: No way are you going to buy me McDonalds, I don't do fast food honey. Look at my body, does this say fast food nation?

I put my index finger up (something I always hated when Ad's do when your asking them a question on set, they act  as they're talking to  someone on their headset) I just wanted her to hold on one second.

GIRL: Don't give me that look, you sold 2 scripts and this is how you treat me? I deserve better for my Lap dance performance last night, At least be a gentleman and take me somewhere with class. As it is, you sold out your last name to get your shit  sold.

(What the fuck is up with me being a sell out? This is the second person who's told me this on a date)

Now I'm not paying any attention to my guy on the phone and listening more to this girl. I realized it's not me that she fell for, but what I have or maybe what I did.

I hang up the phone with my guy still chatting away.

ME: I have to cancel this date, having some problems at work that I need to take care of.

(I lied, I lost interest in this girl, It's very easy for me to lose interest in a girl. I once dumped this girl cause she took a dump after sex, then again the restroom was next to my bedroom)

The girl realized that I wasn't taking her to McDonalds when I called the place to cancel my reservation. I drop the girl home.

GIRL:Look,  I'm so sorry if I freaked back there, I didn't mean what I said. I did a few lines today so I'm still like a little well you know.

( I hate druggies, but damn does she make that outfit she's wearing loook very erotic and sexy. Nothing more of a turn on when a girl has her boobs flashing. Yummm! Man I'm so tempted to make this date last the night and enjoy another ngiht of lap dance excitement. Temptations a bitch!)

ME: You didn't kill the date, I have a situation at work and have to go and put this fire out before anyone from production shows up. I need to take care of my bread and butter.

( which was actually true)

After 2 weeks of ignoring her calls I start to get the "Everyone wants her and I lost the best thing ever to come into my life" messages. She even had the actor guy who she found to replace me call me to congratulate  me for moving on. It's funny I ran into that actor who is pretty well known now and told him I was the guy who he called that one night. We both laughed about it he asked if I wouldn't briing this up to his wife who was his girlfriend at the time of my replacement. i tell him what I tell other celebs. " I didn't see, hear or say anything" After that day we  became friends, even to this day.

 So much for love and Romance in LA tonight, Oh well, I guess I'll go back to finding myself a church girl... Ummm wait did that already and only found lies and no sex. Good thing Red Devils pizza is open late and Netflix has good movies to stream to help me thru the night