Today is the 3rd day of this 4 day commercial. I just love being in that commercial loop. Great pay, great food great people (well sometimes great people) Today's location is in the mid Wilshire district, we film at this corner location that I've been at before working on different features. We have our trucks parked on the side streets in the residential area. Mostly mid 30's and up reside in this populated area. I notice this older lady that I havent seen around this area today. She keeps asking crew for money and their cans and plastic bottles. The lady had to be in her late 70's easy. Wearing this faded white dirty dress with no bra on, leaving her saggy tits in view. I'm walking around the trailers when one of the P.A.'s comes over to me.
PA: Rj we need you over to set. We have this crazy older lady stepping in front of the camera.
ME: Why don't you get one of the retired cops we have on set who's suppose to be in charge of traffic instead are sitting down relaxing in the air condition production trailer?
PA: Come on man, what are those old geezers going to do?
ME: Good point.
(It's true I never seen any of these officers get into any confrontations, well actually only once i've seen that ever happen. I still think these cops we have on set are over paid)
I walk over to video village where I see the old lady shouting at the clients.
ME: Miss, I need you to step away please.
The lady looks at me with that "I know you" look on her face.
LADY: Fred? Fred, how you doing?
ME: Sorry lady but I'm not fred. But I do need you to walk this direction away from the crew please.
The old lady follows me away from the video village. The Producer walks up to me.
PRODUCER: What ever you do don't harm the lady please.
ME: I'm not going to harm the lady just moving her out from our video village.
PRODUCER: Just please don't harm her in front of the clients please.
I'm trying to listen to the producer as the old lady starts to scream.
LADY: Fred why did you make me do it! Why Fred! Why!
I look back at the old lady screaming when out of nowhere I'm struck in the face with a right hand from the old lady. I step back while the old lady is trying to give me an uppercut. I dodge the swings this lady keeps throwing at me. Now I haven't really been in a situation with someone as old as my grandparents so wasn't really sure what to do here. I look around and see if anyone is going to help but instead I see shock faces all around me. I see the retired Police officers looking out the Production office laughing. (Lazy Fucks!)
My other guard comes running over to my side. I tell my guard just wait it out til the lady runs out of breathe which she finally did. I helped the location manager walk the lady back to her apartment complex. After the jokes and teases from people on set things go back to normal. We start to hear someone screaming from down by the trailers. The P.A. Calls me over once again and tells me that my girlfriend (The Granny who punched me) is shouting from her balcony.
P.A.: She's like screaming craziness.
ME: What do you want me to do? She's not in our set, I can't do anything. Call the police.
P.A.: Well you have to do something.
ME: That's not my department. That's locations.
The Location manager comes over to us.
LOCATIONS: Ask the officers we have on set what we should do.
The P.A. Calls the officers on the radio. They reply "Call the police".
LOCATIONS: Okay call the police.
(Isn't that what I just said?)
The police arrive, Locations and myself tell him the situation. The lady comes out on her blacony screaming once again.
OFFICER: I take it that's her.
LOCATIONS: Yep.
OFFICER: Why aren't your police you have on set doing anything about this?
ME: They did, they said to call you.
OFFICER: Then what's their job?
ME: I'm still trying to figure that out myself.
The officer wants me and the Lcoation manager to go up with him to the ladys apartment. We get to her door, It's halfway opened. The Officer opens the door more, this foul stench escapes from the apartment.
(Much worse than the Teamster office trailer)
We see the lady sitting on a chair with her back to us. The officer calls out to the lady. The lady doesn't respond.
OFFICER: Hey security walk inside and see what she's doing.
ME: What? No way dude I seen the movie Quarantine. Next to African Americans, Security guards have the next highest death rate in a horror movie.
OFFICER: Are you kidding?
ME: Isn't it your job to go inside?
LOCATIONS: He's right, we just came up here to show you were she lived.
OFFICER: Well I'm not going in alone.
We agree that we all walk inside. The old lady jumps from her seat screaming her head off. The location manager throws his bottle water at the woman. (not sure why, maybe he was scared) The lady falls to the ground. The officer tells the lady if she doesn't calm down he's going to restrain her. The lady stays on the ground. The officer calls for a paramedic. The lady passes out.
LOCATIONS: Shit I killed her!
OFFICER: I think it's something else, she's still breathing.
Sure enough it was something else. When the paramedics arrive they say the woman is dehydrated. There was no food in her Fridge and the water in the apartment was shut off. Oh and the stench coming from that place. Well that was from 5 skinned cats this lady had hanging in her shower. I guess this lady really lost it mentally. I wasn't able to eat lunch that day or when I got home, nothing like seeing hanging dead cats to kill an appetite.
Next morning i'm over by the catering truck, (the dead cats site didn't keep me from eating that long). Few of the Grips and Juicers walk up to me.
GRIP: Dude, Rj I heard you got bitched slapped by some old lady and was mad cause she fucked your shit up in front of the crew then later went up to her apartment and shoved a water bottle down her throat then killed her cats.
JUICER: My Brotha Rj we totally have to party with your wild ass!
The cooks look at me.
COOK: Rj, that was you who killed the lady and the cats?
Stories on set just sometimes get way out of hand.
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