Back in 2008 when my younger son was diagnosed with Autism, I had no clue what it was. I read many books, looked up hours and hours of videos. Read over hundreds of different blogs from other parents that also have children with special needs. But after doing tons of research I came up with one conclusion. No one actually has an answer on how to deal with a child with special needs. The only best advice I have heard from anyone is have patience. Patience was the answer everyone came up with. even today Patience is advised to many parents. Other parents say medical treatment is a better answer but I don't feel the need to have my boys on Meds. Now when I say boys I mean both my older and younger son's are considered special needs. My oldest son was diagnosed a few weeks ago. They say he doesn't have Autism but is special needs. To this day I'm not sure what the difference is. My oldest son who's 10 shows his special needs with aggression as to appose my younger son who's 7 shows a different sign of his special needs by not sitting in one place for too long and jumping around and always moving. I found ways to keep my younger son distracted by letting him play with the ipad or on xbox. He sure loves his Minecraft. I know many parents are against video games but i think minecraft helps with counting and using skills he would use at school. I love that my son is creative in his video game world. My older son, I tried so many things but his anger blows to fast and anyone near him will take most of the heap of it. My oldest son is like Bruce Banner, one second he's calm and the very next he's green and mean! The damage my older son has done in the household has put a hefty price on our finances.
I know what everyone's thinking, "Well your a writer, you can afford it". Just because I'm a self published writer doesn't mean I'm flowing with riches. Yes I could of went with a publisher a few years back for my "Life After Wrap" book but the conditions the publishers gave me just wasn't what i wanted my Bio book to go. The 4 books that I have published make enough for me to stay home and take care of the kids while my girl works her job. You also have to remember I have a family of 7 so money goes really fast in this house. Where some people advise taking them places I look out the long run. going to the movies or any other festivities can cost around $100 just for one day. As in I can buy my kids a gold account for their xbox for a year family plan for only $50. A year of letting them watch Netflix and play xbox live with their friends oppose to one day of fun. The yearly gaming pass wins.
For now, the only thing I can do is be patient with both boys and try to drain their energy with my 5 mile walks which I can't always have them go cause of their tantrums. (Ever see a grown boy throw himself to the ground yelling and screaming in public?) Both boys have short attention spans and too much energy. You mix that with 3 sisters and it adds up to crazyness! I know some people have said I should put my kids in daycare and go get a job. Already tried that route. My older son has been kicked out of 2 places. Which I also had to walk out of 1 interview for a job while in process.
I'm always looking for feedback so if you have any ideas on how to deal with two kids with special needs, I'm all ears. It's frustrating at times. Dealing with the boys, writing my 5th book and trying to make an social media name is hard. I used to read comic books when I felt overloaded, cause the books always took me to another place where I don't have to hear screaming 24/7. But since I rather not spend money on something I don't need i play xbox. So many times you may seem me playing games where I can blow stuff up is my way of showing letting out my frustration. I think many parents feel the same and have gone through the same as myself and my girl have gone through. It's rough at times. I think not having a social life also has it's toll. I don't have many friends in the real world as to the internet or gaming world. Me and the girl try to have our date night here and there but finding a babysitter is impossible. We have to rely on my girl's dad who isn't really reliable. So our date night is having a family night watching movies either on Demand or Netflix.
I was told that twitter is the place to find the same circle that your in. Tons of Authors and Writers promoting their works just as you are. And that's all they are doing is promoting their work. The years I have been using the social media to network I only have come across only a handful of good people out there. I learned that not too many writers like to help or give advice or network or even bounce off ideas with other writers. It's like Hollywood. Not many like to network or help cause that's one more writer who's out there in this hard competition world we live in. For example when I offered free publicity for my youtube channel I had many Authors and writers telling me that I don't have enough views on my page for their work to be on my channel. But like I said, there are many that I have met who really have helped in many ways. I have even met some cool parents in the special needs world that are helpful but like the writers on twitter there's not many parents that give feedback or help. Many of you know that my Adventures of One Sock book is based off my son's life who has Autism, and many of the special needs parents out there feedback was "It's not too Autism enough". Thanks for the positive feedback.
There's a few things I know. I won't stop making sure my kids don't feel different and have fun in their summer break. My girl and I won't stop trying to have date night. I won't stop networking with other creative folks in the social media. I would say I won't stop talking to other parents about kids with special needs cause I don't talk with any parents about this subject. Maybe my different books or opinions turn them off? I don't know.
The biggest thing I also do know is I will never stop creating and writing and loving my kids for who they are no matter what kind of problems they have in their lives.
I want to thank everyone who listened to my rant and everyone who's bought and supported my books. You guys are just too awesome!
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