"Opportunity Knocks Pt. 2"

(Deebo is Real!)

We get back to set around 4am, feels like I never slept last night. We talk with the some of the security guards that work at this stadium where we are using our crew and left over truck parking. They tell us that Sarah Palin is going to be here today. I'm glad I'm not doig crew parking today, I could only imagine how many people are going to be here today, and it being a saturday only makes it even worse. When we get to set I'm posted by the same spot watching the stage. The crew call isn't till 10 am, so it's pretty quiet, well till I hear ah huh uh uh uh uh uh uh  fuck me! fuck me! Yea the house next to us was having morning nookie. Nothing more annoying than having to hear that shit while your at work. I knew I should of brought my ipod. I walk around try to get myself further away from the screaming. The usual neighbors come out picking up their newspapers and doing their walking the dog routine. Okay for some reason time seems to be going just a little slow. I see one of the neighbors pick up some cable. (interesting) The neighbor starts to walk back towards their house.

ME: Um, exucse me where are you going with that cable?

LADY: lol, I thought I would get a souvenier, pretty cool shit a film job here in my hood.

ME: Souveneir? I dont think so, put that shit back.

LADY: Gee nigga, there's like tons of cable and shit out here they won't mind
.
ME: Are you fucking serious? Look just put that cable back.

LADY: Whatcha going to do huh nigga!

ME: Well I could call the authorites if I have to enforce this issue. That's the production property and you taking it is stealing.

LADY: What, let me guess it's stealing cause i'm black. I bet if i was white you let me keep this shit.

ME: Whatever just put that shit back.

LADY: Nigga you put that shit back.

The lady drops the cable by her front door and enters her house slamming the door behind her.

(Too early for this shit!)

The production starts to arrive. (hopefully time goes by just as fast as yesterday) I have neighbors coming up to me for their lunch tickets. I explain to them that the tickets were passed out to people who live in the area and not from other cities. ( can you beleive that  someone from long beach drove down here cause they heard there was free food ticket vouchers being passed here) I watch the crew do their last sound test since they will be filming tonight around 7pm. They bring up the winning family to the stage. Then they start rehearsing. Okay so this is new to me, I didnt know that reality game shows reheasrd their contestants reactions to the prizes and questions. I wonder if they already know what they won. I could hear one of the producers tell the family

Producer: You have to jump up and down and scream for criyng out loud. Show some emotion, scream your head off.

I guess this is how they do it for game shows. I look on as i hear a short whistle squuek behind me. I turn around and see this big black guy riding a bike. He has a white shirt and blue basketball shorts with his socks up gangsta style. It's the guys bike that's making the noise. He stops next to me.

GUY: Yo what up Nig! What this shit in my hood going on!

ME: Tv show.

GUY: No shit D.

(D?)

GUY: Shit they pick the d'wrong family, I'm the star in this hood ya dig D.

ME: Oh yeah what makes you a star?

GUY: Check this out D, I run this hood. All these niggas here d'bfraid of me.

He points to a house across the street. Kids are looking from their window.

GUY: I run this Hood Don't I little nigga's! I D'king of Dis hood!

The kids by the window close their curtain.

(I take it this is D, the kids who seem to be afraid of)

DEEBO: I hear there's a cook out today, shit I d'roll in money today.

He pulls out tons of bbq tickets.

DEEBO: Shit I d'sellin this shit to the neighbors.

ME: Did you really actually go door to door and pull those from peoples housses?

DEEBO: Why not, No privacy in d'hood!

The guy rides away. Some kids come out from their houses.

KID: Shit  man you brave, talking to D.

ME: He's not that scary.

This girl walks up.

GIRL: That's becuase your not a little kid. He only picks on kids under 16. That nigger don't pull that shit with me or anyone near his age.

ME: How old is he?

GIRL :40.

(what the fuck 40 and he's still hussling little kids? And riding a bike ad not driving. WTF!)

KID: He's always taking our shit from us.

GIRL: I call him Deebo. You know from Friday.

ME: LOL! Well they both rode a squeky bike and both were big black guys that looked dirty.

(no im not racist)

Lunch time rolls around, and the same time the neighborhood BBq starts up. Things start to heat up. Location starts to freak out. Our guard in crew parking is having problems with protesters for the Sarah Palin ordeal. They send the officers we have on set to give him a hand. The 2nd caterers are freaking out cause more neighbors are showing up than tickets were passed. The Pa they had posted there was afraid to be by himself. Locations comes up to us.

LOCATIONS: We need another guard.

(isn't that what I said yesterday)

ME: It's going to be a couple of hours till he gets here.

LOCATIONS: Why 2 hours why not now?

ME: Cause he has to get dressed then drive down here.

LOCATIONS: Make it an hour.

The location guy walks away. I still don't understand why locations think we have this magic hat that could just pull guards out of nowhere. It's going to take time to find last minute guys. Always amazes me. I get the fun honors of doing the neghborhood bbq post. (fun) I make sure the ppl give the Pa's their tickets.

PA: Damn Rj I'm so glad your here. I never been or seen so many black people before in my life.

ME: You need to get out more often.

PA: Shit, I'm from vermont, we don't really have backs or mexicans there.

ME: Welcome to Cali.

Things seem to move pretty smoothly. Except for the issue we had with Deebo selling tickets. What a snake he sold most of his tickets to little kids 2 blocks away. I guess he knew he couldn't pull that shit near by. The BBQ had some really good stuff. baked mac n cheeese, hot dogs, hot links, cheeseburgers, tuna melts, Ribs, corn on the cob. Corn Bread, they really went out. I couldn't resist and had that instead of the crew cater which had some type of chicken dish and New York Steak. I see Deebo riding to us.

DEEBO: This D'line for the D'food?

(Yes his D's were freaking annoying now you have to read it...lol)

ME: yup, you have your ticket?

DEEBO: Nah, D. I sold D'tickets.

ME: Well First of all you weren't suppose to sell anything and second i guess your eating at home cause you need a ticket to get some grub.

DEEBO: What! D'bullshit! You D aint kool!

He looks over to some of the kids he sold his tickets too.

DEEBO: Hey little nigga give me D'plate!

The kids ignore him.

DEEBO: Hey nigga's give me your plate D'said!

ME: Why don't you use the money you made any buy your self some food.

DEEBO: Thats my drink money.

Someone from the tables screams out. "Fuck off you little bitch!"

DEEBO: Who said D'shit! Huh, Step Up To D'man!

MAN: I said that nigga!

This huge muscle bound black guy stands up from the table. I think it took Deebo by surprise cuase his tone changed.

DEEBO: You sho? Cuase It sounded like D'voice came more over D'left side over Dere.

MAN: No you heard me nigga get the fuck out of here before I go beat your fucking ass!

DEEBO: (low voice) You little niggas wait to these film people leave, I d'gettin my cheeseburgers back.

Deebo rides off onto the next block. I help the caters clean their area and move back to set where they are starting to get ready with the extras for the show to start. They use majority of the neighbors as extras and have another 300 paid extras to fill in the spots. I'm just glad that my day is almost over. The weather really changed and from hot to cold just as soon as the sun goes down. Before I knew it my shift was over. I could only imagine how tomorrows going to be with the wrap out.