"The White Motor Home"

Tonight I'm working up in Palmdale at this one location where they seem to film at all the time. 4 Aces, you probably seen this location in the Lady gagga and Beyonce music video among many others and movies. I have the night shift, which I pretty much prefer since it's freaking hot out here. When I arrived this morning it was already in the 100's and it was only 7:30 am. I arrive early just incase I couldn't find the location, I get there with plenty of light and walk around the whole place to see what equipment might be left out. I make sure I check my phone for service,

(there's many sites that I worked where we have to phone service what so ever)

I also arrive early so I can stock up at Craft service since many shows now days are not leaving out any drinks out for us. As I'm taking my snackages and drinks back to my truck I notice a old white Mortor home drive by slowly. I think nothing of it since i'm sure alot of people are amused when they see filming going on in their area. I did notice teh people in driving the motor home were very old, skinny and had long greasy hair. I sworn they looked like extras from a Rob Zombie movie. It's dark when they finally wrap, i'm told by the Rep for this location that the guy who  lives in the trailer behind the fake hotel won't be in tonight. So I'm pretty much on my own. It's pitched dark when the last AD finally leaves, I didn't realize just how dark it was going to be here. I forget they had lights up lighting up this location. I walk over to crew parking and drive my truck at the location. I park myself in between the picture cars they leave over night. I park myself here so no one would know where I'm at.

(Usually security guys park their car away from everything which only tells people where he is)

I walk around trying to pass the night away, not many cars drive on this highway, one thing for sure I didn't see any highway patrol driving by like the Officers on set would come check on me. It's pitched dark out here, I here noises from the bushes all around but I'm thinking wild life (hopefully) 3 am comes around when I finally see headlights from the distance. I sit low in my truck, and watch the vehicle come closer. That's when I notice the vehicle is the White Motor Home that I seen earlier. (Can't forget a old broken down vehicle like that) The Mortor Home slows down very slow, then stops in front of my location. I sit in my truck waiting to see what they're going to do. Hell maybe theyre just checking out the location, not sure. The headlights turn off in the mortor home but the engine is still running. They open their side door. It's just as dark in there as it is outside. I still don't make any movements, I'm keeping my post a secret. Not only does no one come out but I start to hear chicken and turkey calls coming from the Motor home. The screams go on for about 15 minutes, during this time I look all around me incase they knew where I was and was coming from my rear position. But i don't see anything nor does anyone come out from the Motor home. I see more headlights coming from the opposite direction, I notice it's the transpo team and catering truck on it's way to me. The Motor home drives off with out closing it's door, the Motor home almost collides with the catering truck when making it's turn as it drove off. When the catering parks in their spot to set up, they ask me "Who the hell that was"  I let them know I have no idea.

The sun is starting to shine and the heat is also starting to rise. I'm asked by the Producers if I can stay to park cars. I tell them no problem. I'm parking cars, while eating my breakfast burrito when I notice the White Motor home driving near us. I stand there looking at the slow vehicle seeing the same old dirty couple staring at me. I watch the vehicle drive by slowly when I hear pounding from the back window. I think it was a older woman not too sure but they were hitting the glass with an hatchet while pointing their finger at me then across their neck. Creepy, hell yeah it was! The Motor home gets some speed and drives off. When our officers show up I let them know what happened that night.

The Officer tells me I should of taken down the plates (which they had none) cause they have a missing report of hikers not being found only their personal belongings and clothing. Great now why didn't the night officers tell me that. The worst part is, I have to come back here tonight by myself unarmed. It's going to be one of those nights

"I'm suppose to be protecting the Bears?"

So since I was already working up in Palmdale my dad told me I should take this commercial which they'll set me up in a hotel for a few days up in Apple Valley. As it is I already had a few hard nights working up here in the middle of nowhere With people coming over with guns and other driving creepy motorhomes threatening with axes. (more in book) and now he wants me to go to this commercial out in the middle of nowhere.

DAD: It's 25 dollars an hour and they'll cash you out when the job is over.

Okay now the job seemed a little more interesting. I just worked in pitched darkness what's a few more nights working in darkness right? right. I made my way over thru palmdale by driving the 138 to the 15 fwy and towards the Apple Valley off ramp. This town seems to be growing, nice homes and new stores, of course my destination was past all of that. I was pretty much in the middle of nowhere. The landscaping for where I was looked exactly like a back drop from the set of "LAND OF THE LOST" (I kid you not) I could see where the trucks where up in the dirt hill and pretty much any of the prepping crew cars. Of course I didn't have the junker I have today i still owned my durango so offroading wasn't a problem. I meet the lovely and sexy Production Manager, she introduces me to the crew. I walk around the area but stay away from the crew doing their pre lighting. The crew wraps up and before they leave one of the Producers walks up to me.

Producer: So we have really really important stuff for you to watch.

I look around and didn't really see much other than the production trucks and some wiring all over the place.

PRODUCER: Oh not here, over here where the set is.

So I walk over with him. The Producer points.

PRODUCER: That's what we need watching throughout both nights.

I look to see 2 huge cages with huge hairy bears sitting in them. around the cages were the trainers making sure things were secured tight.

(Okay so I'm thinking, what em I exactly suppose to do again? I don't remember this is the security training manual)

TRAINER: Whatever you do, don't make any sudden movements around them, don't eat around them.

(Wait I can't eat my double western bacon cheeseburger I have sitting in my car, wtf!)

It was pretty much a list of don't s.

ME: So what if they happen to get out of the cage?

TRAINER 2: Well son, you ever see that movie Forrest Gump?

ME: Yea.

TRAINER 2: You remember that scene Run Forrest Run!

ME: Yea.

TRAINER 2: That's what you do son, you run like Forrest Gump!

Okay so I'm not the slimiest guy in the world but could i really out run a bear if needed too? I was thinking if 25 bucks an hour was actually worth this.

The night was cold, yet very clear. You could see every star, very beautiful. It was so dark that the car headlights down by the road stood out. I made my rounders but kept very far from the bears, if these sucker get out there's no way I'll be able to see them in this darkness. Besides if anyone came around I'm sure they'll shit their pants running into these bears in darkness. The night was very boring, not much to do. I kept thinking I could be home right now and having fun with my girlfriend yet here I am sitting in the darkness watching huge bears. Late in the night a car parked below my area, man I sure hope they don't want to hike up here. They didn't instead they were having wild animal sex. The girl screamed huh huh huh which seemed like almost forever. (yeah things you want to hear while being stuck in the middle of darkness) They finally left around close to 4am, now I just had to get out of the truck and stretch.. I knew for sure that catering will be showing up in an hour or so (they always come early) I keep my distance and walk over to the other side of these crazy hills. The cold wind was blowing pretty good by now. Then the scent of wet animal caught my attention. At first I was thinking it's just the bears, but the bears were on the other side and the wind was blowing in a different direction. What the hell em I smelling. Coyote? I have a pretty bright flashlight, i start flashing everywhere, then my light caught eyes staring at me from on top of the rocks. I couldn't tell what it was, but when it moved down, I knew exactly. Mountain lion! Great, I make my way to my truck as fast as I can with out running ( I read once that lions like their feast to run) I made it back to my truck okay, but the rest of the nights I was there, I only walked around my truck to stretch out.



"Farm? Studio? Haunted House?"

I'm walking around the stage area over in Laurel cyn stages. Ive been doing this for way too many years now and this is the first timeI have ever been to this stage. I guess there are many studios that I've yet been too. It's the film crews day off so I wonder through everywhere talking on my 2way nextel phone (no one uses those anymore) not worrying about keeping the sound down. In my conversation I hear baby cries. I stop in place and try to locate where the cries are coming from. I search the whohle lot and even outside the gate to find the source of this sound. Nothing. I come close to the stage door and there was the cry. I put my ear closer  to the door and hear the baby screams from inside. Must be the janitor's doing their weekly cleaning. I just don't remember seeing them enter the building.  A few days later I let the stage manager know about the Janitor's baby crying. He gives me this weird look.

HIM: They only come on Tuesdays.

That would of made it Sunday when I heard the cries.

ME: Well it came from inside.

HIM: You know this place is haunted.

(Now they tell me)

ME: How do you know that?

HIM: The girl who works on the other side had her pyschic friend come in and walk through the place. She said she saw a family of farmers. Now not too many people know that this was a farm before it was turned into a building back in the early 60's. Even I have encounter weird stuff that I can't explain or smelled like animals in here.

(come to think of it, I never heard any other voices or noises coming from inside)

Were done with this location and moving on to Blue Sky Ranch. Dirt. I hate Dirt.

"All I Wanted was an Orange Bang!"

I'm awake much earlier than I wanted to be this morning, damn this hot weather! I have plenty of time to get myself ready since my copies of my childrens book "Adventures of One Sock" arrived yesterday via UPS. The school Principal for my kids school asked if they can have a copy of my book so they can place it in their library for all the kids to enjoy. I'm thrilled to know and have a book in a school library and just knowing that for years to come kids will be reading my stories. So I meet with the Principal and everything goes well, I even sign a copy for her and the Assistant Principal...

I still feel weird about signing someones copy of their book, I mean it's not like a school year book where you sign see you next year, hope you stay cool for the summer stuff. But like it should sound professional type of thanks for buying my book and giving support I believe. I'm still new at this so i try to write something good.

After passing my cards to some of the ladies in the office I leave the office and start walking home. Now it's only 8:30 am and it's already starting to get hot. I hear it's suppose to be in the high 90's again! I hate the heat! So since I'm breaking a sweat I head over to this burrito place to get myself an ice cold refreshing Orange Bang. Yes I love the Orange Bang drink. I get to the place and get my drink. When I was there I see this stinky black homeless guy talking crazy to himself, as if he was chanting. I'm waiting for my drink this guy walks towards me. 

MAN: Buy me a fucking burrito bitch!

Me: Get the fuck out of my face.

The guy looked realy dirty, the color in his eyes were orange and red, he was really high on something, he didn't like my answer. He starts to scream angry slurs at me. He pulls out this huge crocodile dundee knife from his back pocket.

(What the fuck is this guy doing with a knife that size?)

The guy starts waviing his knife at me in different directions while still screaming. I can see from the side of my vision that the cooks and customers inside the place start ducking as if this guy had a gun or something. I think they were more onedge after the shooting at IHOP. Me, I have all my attention on how this guy is standing and holding the knife at me.

MAN: Motha fucker mexican, I'm going to cut you so much your gonna be a skinny motha fucka! then I'm gonna get this knife and open you up like a can of tuna with mexican sauce pouring all over the ground...

This guy is non stop talking crap while waving the knife at me. I had enough, I jump forward, with my left hand I block the knife and with my right I punch the guy in his face. I ended up giving this guy a combo with 3 hits before he falls back on the ground. I see he let go of the knife and kick it to the side. The guy crawls away and gets back on his feet, his face is full of blood.

MAN: You fucking Bitch! I wasn't done telling you how I'm going to cut you up like a little boy stuck in a hole! You cut me off you fucking whore! Fuck my face, shit my lips are fucking sore and huge than what they wre before! You gave me fat lips you fucking fat mexican!

(Yes this guy was really saying this, he made no sense what so ever when he was shouting)

I felt like Mr. Incredible in the movie The Incredibles, where he catches him off Monologing. I attacked this guy in the middle of his speech, but when someone has a knife in your face all rules of engagement are off. the guy starts yelling at the people in the establishment about getting some ice for his face. They tell hiim no and to get lost because they're calling the polkice. The guy looks at me while he picks up his knife. He places the knife back in his back pocket. 

(I took a pic of the knife in his pocket and sent it to a few of you out there)

The guy looks at me and starts screaming how I made him bleed. He then jumps on his bik and rides off into traffic as fast as he can. This guy jumps out of his truck.

TRUCK MAN: What are you doing? Your letting him get away, go after him!

I'm thinking, really? For one It's freaking hot! 2. I'm not a super hero.

ME: You go after him, your driving a truck.

TRUCK MAN: Now he's going to attack someone else.

ME: This isn't fucking Spiderman where uncle Ben is going to get killed!

TRUCK MAN: Spiderman, who's that?

Okay if you don't know who spiderman is, then your not worth talking too! 

I get my drink and walk away. I know the people at the place called the police so there's nothing else for me to do.Everyone else there saw his description so they can give it to the cops. Me, all I wanted was a Orange Bang and now I'm going to enjoy my drink as I walk home.

"Filmore pt. 3"

I remember Tobey Mcguire telling me a ghost story about Fillmore when I worked on his movie he was Producing, "What Ever We Do". He told me about someone staring at him from the outside of his trailer while he was working on "Seabiscuit" at the train station. He told me about this person who would always stand outside his trailer and just stare. He would look out his windows and see this person, he couldn't really tell if it was a guy or a girl, but his assistant seen the person and couldn't find them when they went outside nor did security. That's just one of the few stories that I remember about this location, of course the site rep for the place had his share of stories as well. He mentioned that people would walk into the trains when the fog rolled in, I guess their way of giving up on life. I have to admit that my time working at this location I did see many people wondering around the trailers, and when I would walk up to them they would be gone.  No where in sight, it's llike they disappeared. I also had my share of the shadow people.

( okay so I sound a little crazy, but it's true)

Tonight it's really really foggy, the lights around the station aren't on for some reason, so it's pretty dark. I walk around the basecamp I hear footsteps coming from boots or maybe heels not really sure, all I know is that it's so quiet that the footsteps are the only noise being made. I see a dark image on the walkway coming my direction. I wait near one of the trailers as the person walks closer, I see the image of a girl in a dress. I flash my stream light on them when they get right next to me. Now my stream light is very bright, when I flash my light on the ladie's face she has no reaction. She didn't look at me, she didn't blink, she didn't even get startled that I flashed her with a bright light.

 (any normal person would of least gave a glance my way, but nothing as if I wasn't even there)

The lady was dressed as if she was an extra from the little house on the prairie set. She kept walking past me and down the walkway into the fog.

Weird, creepy, bizarre...At least she didn't rip her head off or charge at me or even call my name (those stories are in the book) So I  take wondering lady with no reaction anyday.

I keep telling myself that I only have a few more days on this show and it's back to the city and away from this small town.

"Filmore pt. 2"

I make my way over to this shitty hotel they set up everyone for this crew. I met with Dickless (Producer) at the catering truck, he tells me no one is getting food money and that I'm lucky that I get a hotel paid to stay. I tell him in response that he's lucky that I stay awake at night and not just sleep thru my shift like many sceurity companies out there do. I go beyond him and talk to the other Producer Al. Al makes sure that I get my predium, even though its only $8 dollars a day. Yes $8 dollars a day. Luckily I been doing this for awhile and I know how to get away with only eight bucks for food. Plus it's always good to know the Catering guys (who are very good at what they do) really well.

I try my best to get some sleep. The housekeeping kept banging on my door which seemed like every half hour. They even call a few times asking what time I'm going to be awake. (Now if your going to hire housekeepers, they should get ones that can read my sign on the fucking door!!)

I arrive back at set, they just finished wrapping. I talk to a few of the cops we have on set. I ask the officer about this town and it's violence. I tell him about the incident which happened last night. They laugh. I'm thinking, okay what's so funny? they tell me how gang violence is high in this town too. There's gang activity every night.

(these gangs must be throwing rocks at each other, cause the whole 5 days I was there, I never heard one gun shot)

I walk around the basecamp with Al, and the site rep. The site rep lets me know the lowdown of the location. He even mentions about this train yard being haunted.

(Why is every train station haunted? Why do people like to tell ghost stories when they know your going to be alone in the dark all night long?)

The lights in basecamp shut off, it's really dark here. It wasn't this dark last night, then again I had the station's lights but tonight their off. Were the only three people left in basecamp, everyone else is gone. We do another walk around basecamp. We make our way around the corner of the make up trailer when someone from the dark comes into view. We must of scared them cause they fell to the ground. I notice that Al and the site rep jumped back themselves. I turned on my light really quick, the person we scared fell back pretty hard. Al bends over to give the person a hand. As soon as I light up the area, there's no one there. Only dust in the air from the person's fall. None of us say anything. the site rep suddenly goes home and Al, he tells me not too mention this to anyone.

Who it was that we scared in the dark, I'll never know. I never knew ghost can be just as scared of us as we are of them.

"Filmore pt. 1"

I feel as if I was driving forever to get to this location. We are definitely out of the film Zone. I arrive at the train station that everyone likes to shoot their movie at. I see pictures and signs of the previous show that was here "Seabiscuit"

I'm waiting for the location guy to arrive and pass me my hotel information and food money. I'm a little surprised that Hallmark actually going to pay for my hotel and food. If any of you worked for Hallmark, then you know just how cheap they are. The location guy I'm waitiing for I don't care too much for. He's this little asian guy who adds to the untrusting backstabbing list in this Movie Industry. Transportation arrives with the trailers.

TRANS CAPTAIN: Have you seen the location guy?

ME: No.

TRANS CAPTAIN: Mother fucker! I knew he wasn't coming.

ME: He better, he has my info and money for the hotel.

TRANS CAPTAIN: Fuck that asshole!

(I'm not the only one who hates this location guy)

Transpo finishes up their set up. The night approaches 1am. Still no sign of the location manager, call time is 6am so I doubt he is coming. Guess I'll have to deal with the dickless Producer Jeff in the morning. I start walking around doing my rounders around the trailer. I see someone running towards my direction. I make my way back to my truck, this guy gets closer and is out of breath and full of blood.

GUY: You have to help me hide, they're  after me.

ME: Who is?

Before I can say anything else, 14 guys run up to us and start beating this guy down hard. One of them turns to me.

GANGSTER: You want trouble ese?

I tighten my grip on my 4 cell flashlight.

ME: It's none of my business.

The gangster nods his head.

I watch how they beat this guy down, dirt is flying everywhere. The guy is able to get away and starts running further down the street. The gangsters chase this dude down. I don't see anyone for another hour. The 14 guys which now is only 7 of them are walking back holding the white bloodied shirt as a trophy from the other guy. One of them gave me the low down as to why the guy was being beaten.

Apparently the guy getting beaten was having sex with one of the gangsters wives when he was at work.

It's funny that this happened. Film crews stopped shooting at Lake Piru which is a few miles down the road cause of gang violence, and here it exsists too. Go figure. I'm stuck in this boring town for a week. This is only night number one, I can only imagine what night 2 is going to be.