"Commercial world is Changing"

You know when theres something wrong with the Film Industry when you work the commercial world and things on set start to get very cheap. I remember just a few months ago when I was getting 25 an hour on commercials, now everyone seems to be underbidding and prices are going down to 15 to 16 an hour. Not bad for just watching crew parking, but when they like to film in drug prositution gang infested areas like Hemet. Yea it's out in the middle of nowhere just like Lake Perris but it's also cheap to live so low income families seem to populate these areas. The nights watching these areas are starting to get more crazier. I think the hard times is hitting everyone so there are more thieves and people looking for a quick buck seem to roam the night more often.

A few weeks ago I worked on this commercial for ANONYMOUS CONTENT in Perris which is next to hemet, (not lake perris near filmore) For one they didn't give any predium or travel time for the trip back and forth to this location.

(good thing Ihave sisters that have houses up on Moreno Valley)

Next they didn't serve breakfast, just lunch. I have no problems with that since I watch what I eat on set since they like to serve just way too much food at times. Pretty much I get full from the snackages (not a real word but it is for me) they pass around. Just this crafty table didn't have any bottle water, instead dixie cups replaced the coolers filled with drinks. Okay I don't know about much of the crew but when Im walking around I like to sip at my water, not too much so I wont have to piss all the time but just enough to keep me filled. I tried the dixie cup thing back on this one commercial who wanted to be cheap with the water too, but working under the 6th street bridge in Downtown LA, sorry but that doesnt cut it. You try drinking from a dixie cup and having all that shit dust just flow into your open cup. yeah not a great site I may add. Some people don't care but going home and smelling like shit and piss from working in these areas, thats enough for me. I don't want to also be drinking shit and piss flavored water. Plus my water bottle I can tuck in my huge side pockets. Plus with a dixie cup  I would have to drink all my water, or what if I want a refill.  I have to get someone to relieve me just so I could get some more water. Oh did I mention the dixie cups are those small cups that the nurses give you when you take your pills. Just standing in the water cooler line behind the sweaty Juicers and grips bring back memories of party animals waiting for the Beer Keger. That's just more time for me not being posted at my spot which only makes me look like I'm not doing my job.

Yes the Production people on this show are one of those assholes who look at you standing in line for water and right away think your screwing around and not doing your job. It's funny cause the Art dept guy who's taking tablets of speed in his car doesnt seem to be doing his job, I wouldn't be in this long bathroom line if they had water bottles instead of dixie cups. I later find out that the crew was given travel time and predium for the job. It still amazes me that security gets unnotice from small little perks as the no credit after a movie. Whenever I see a movie that didn't give screen credit to security on their movie only tells me they either didn't have any respect for the security crew or they had no security on set keeping their equipment safe. We all know everyone uses security on set, we are just that invisible guy who patrols the set until when needed then were the most loved ones on set. 

"Copy That"

Tonight I'm working back at the place where I had my first encounter with ghost back in 95. Linda Vista Hospital in Boyle Heights. This place is huge! I've returned to this place many many times only to encounter more ghost. So when they tell me that I'll be working here alone by myself at night, you bet I didn't wander too much inside the building, no matter how much equipment they had set up inside. The last time I was here we were attacked by the Michael Myers Raccoon, Told off by Roger Corman, heard the singing woman in the basement and had 2 guys quit cause one heard his name being called (long story) and the other geting stuck in the elevators for 2 hours in the dark, his phone the only light he had on him.

(dumbass, never take the elevators, and always carry a flashlight with you, I carry 2 after my encounters with ghost here)

Before they leave I'm told not too let the death guy we named Frankenstein not too enter this property, something about either raping or attacking a female crew person in the building. The site rep lets me know about the front door to the property is loose and I should check it every now and then. (as long as it's outside, hey no problem) I do my rounders and walk to the front of the building and notice one of the front doors is on it's side (shit!) so much for the door being loose. So now I really had to go inside and make sure nothing was stolen.

(being totally committed to my job has it's drawbacks)

I enter the building, quiet. So quiet you can hear a pin drop.
 Too bad outside can't be so quiet, all night all you hear is shootings, choppers and sirens through out the whole night. I pass our first set up, the little church they have in there. I then look down into the wardrobe room, too dark and far to enter in, oh well looks secure from where I am. I make my way to the double doors. I put the door back onto it's hinge, but it's not working. It's broken, I put the door back together the best way I could. I hear something slam to the ground in the far distance. I freeze in place and wait for more noise or footsteps or anything. Nothing.( I hate when that happens) I make my way into the production office. Nothing in the room looks stolen, printers, computers and equipment is still there. I walk into this green room where they have the walkies charging. Everything looks okay in here too.  I start to head back outside.

Loud static noise comes from one of the walkies.. scared the shit out of me since I was still in the room.
Okay I'm letting this place get to me.
Low laughter starts to come from one of the walkies, not sure which one, I was out of the building faster than Speedy Gonzalez!!
The production did give me another gaurd to watch the front doors while I stood in the parking lot watching the loose equipment laying around. I get to go back tonight to the same place (Fukcing Great) Well if anyone wants a free haunted ghost tour, you know my cell number.......

"Under age Girls gone Wild"

Hancock Park. This part of town is known for their huge mansions grumpy neighbors and most burgleries in LA. Anyone who's anyone  has filmed in this area. Today like most of the jobs I do in this part of town is a commercial. Most of the crew is inside upstairs or something. I have the grips and juicers outside setting up lights for the next shot.  Three young girls wearing backpacks walks by me. They flirt with me touching my arms and other parts of my body they all shout "Hi security" I pretty much ignore it. (Sorry but I'm not R Kelly)  besides, the caterer is serving BBq Ribs today. They walk into the house next to us, I make my way over to the lunch table. One rule that Production has and  still hasn't changed is that Security and Drivers eat 30 minutes before the crew. I love that rule.  Lunch today is baked Mac and Cheese not that boiled stuff straight from a box, it's really good! Ribs, baked Beans and cornbread. ( I love cornbread) I over did it by having a shake and baked melted chocolate cookie. My tummy aches!

After lunch the crew is back inside doing their magic while I walk back and forth (need to walk off some of this food) I walk over to where the grips and juicers are setting up around the house. I hear the guys ranting and raving while pointing up. I look up to see what these guys were taking pictures of. Up in the open window in the house next to us were the three girls  who flirted with me earlier dancing shirtless . Well one did have her bra on but the other two were topless. My first thought was, "Is that what 16 yr olds look now days? Why couldn't they look like that when I was in school"

( I'm not a perv at least not in public, but it's true)

 The girls were dancing to Missy Elliots "Get Ur Freak On", the guys down below were really enjoying this, some Pa's were starting to join this crowd. I turn to my left and notice a car pulling into the driveway. This older small jewish man runs over in our direction  shouting at us.

MAN: What you doin? top lookeen at my babies!

(Okay maybe he was Greek, doesn't really matter they're both hairy)

The man gets in front of everybody. He shouts in his language at the girls who don't pay any  attention to him. The girls keep on dancing flashing their breast at the crew.
The man runs to me.

MAN: Curity, you stop these people.

ME: Curity?

MAN: Stop! Cruity stop lookeen or I will cut your chizo!

One of the guys comes up to me.

GRIP: Rj keep him busy, I want to get this on video.

ME: Video? Dude you Rob Lowe or something, I'm out of here.

The old man comes to me again.

MAN: Curity, stop lookeen, or I'll lik you ass!

ME: Did you just say you'll lik my ass?

MAN: lik! lik!

Man starts to lift his feet in a kicking motion.

ME: Oh, kick.

The man starts chasing the crew off his lawn. No one really takes him seriously, they laugh at him. The man finally runs in the house pulling the girls away from the window. You hear screaming and sounds of beating from up there.

I don't know why he just didn't do that in the first place. Weird people live in Hancock Park I tell you.

"I'm Racist?"

Over the weekend I had to work, yep just started a new T.V. show called (Strong Medicene) and this Industry doesn't believe in being off on weekends or holidays. So my location over the weekend is Griffith park up on Cedar Grove. One of the cool spots in the park and also one of the most filmed hot spots. So here I am watching a hot set for shooting this tuesday. The weekend would of went well if I wasn't called Racist. It's been awhile since I've been called that name.

(no I'm not racist, I'm far from it)

I had 2 homeless (african american) guys messing with the set and trying to take stacks of hay we had on set for use of a bed. Now I have no problem hikers walking around taking pictures, but when you mess with my playground then we have a problem, in which I have to take action.

ME: Hey guys, it's cool that you hang here and walk around, but don't mess with my set.

GUY !: What that nigaga just say?

GUY 2 walks up to me.

GUY 2: Look here little nigga I pay taxes and I can do whatever the Fuck I want!

ME: I don't give a shit what you do, just don't touch my hot set.

GUY 2: I pay taxes! You fucking Rent A Cop! You Racist asshole!

ME: Racist?

GUY 2: I bet if I was white you wouldn"t be doing this to me! I'm a black man I deserve respect!

(did he just quote Poetic Justice to me?)

He steps closer to intimidate. Guy 1 also steps into the scene.

ME: Look bud.

I get interrupted.

GUY 2: Bud? Just cause I'm black don't mean we smoke bud. Why you gotta define me with a drug name?

ME: I'll m ake it easy.

GUY 1: Easy! Blacks never have it easy. Foo!

They were both starting to take this too far.

ME: Look you non tax paying dirty diaper smelling homeless piece of shits! Take your caramel nappy hair boyfriend off  my set before I bury your bullshit out here in the park!

They both have this puzzled stare on their face. After a few moments of them looking at each other they walk away screaming more racist remarks at me.


Me racist? I guess I am racist. Racist of ASSHOLES!, and they come in all different colors.

"LA Parking lot"

street. They're building a huge skateboard ramp for a car commercial. Across the street there's another commercial going on. I know a few of the people in that crew. As the day passes I notice these really hot looking latina chicks walking through the alley way smiling at me. Wow, em I really that attractive? I asked myself. The homeless guy who cleans the club next to our location came up to me and asked if I liked what I saw. I just mentioned there are some cute girls wondering these parts of the streets.

HIM: They"re Hookers.

ME: what? You Serious?

HIM: They're  girls who pay coyotes to bring them over into the states. So they work off their fee by making money for them.

He points to one girl.

HIM: You see that one, she's been here for 3months. The rest of them are new, I don't recgonize them. But the new one with the long legs seems to be the popular one. She has more customers and regulars than the rest.

Sure enough I kept noticing the same girls walking thru the alley way and into the Arcade down the alley. They have many rooms set up in that arcade. When they walk down the alley with their customer he or she will either walk ahead or behind them as if they're  not with them. A guy from the Arcade will watch the bac kdoor and if any cars drive by he will lock the door till its clear. I hear the police tried to catch them once or twice but failed every time. It's a shame to see these girls in that situation. If you look at them, you would of never thought they were hookers. As the day passes I see them going in and out of the alley way. many of their customers were dressed in suits. i seen some security guards many and I mean many guys who i swear look like undercover cops. Here I thought them staring at me I was good looking. So much for that...

"Where The Critters At?"

One thing I have to admit about working Commercials is parking the crew early in the morning. Everyone wants to park next to their trailer to donwload or just be close. They'll tell me, "I'll be 5 minutes" What that really means is they're parking in that  spot all day. The best thing is when I'm out in the open directing cars where to park and when they just fly by me, I have to go and put them in the right spot, I always get " Why didn't you tell me before I turned off my car" Of course my nice response is " Well dumbshit, if you were paying attention to me, you would of known where to go and we wouldn't be having this conversation".
Our basecamp is so huge (8th and Francisco in LA)  So I could see how someone could get confused, but if everyone followed the signs, then they wouldn't have any problems. Nice car pulls up next to me...

GUY: I need to park over there.

He points over to the trailers.

ME: You background?

GUY: Background? No, I'm Atmosphere talent.

(I know it's only 5am but I'm not that stupid)

ME: Okay Atmosphere Talent parking is over there.

I point to the furthest of the huge parking lot.

GUY: Why way over there?

ME: Are you Client?

GUY: No,

ME: Are You the Producer, Director, Talent?

GUY: No.

ME: Are you fucking the Producer, Director Talent or anyone from the Agency?

GUY: No.

ME: Well that's why your parking over there.

The guy speeds off quickly down the parking lot. Now if he would of been cool with me and just say he's background and not pull that "this guard is stupid and use Atmosphere talent on me" I would of parked him much closer. We have over 400 extras today, on the other side of the parking lot is another commercial. I park everyone in our crew and chase out the other crew cars from the other production. I grab my breakfast then I leave my guard the details of basecamp duty and head over towards set. I walk through the parking lot and notice the other security guard (Trojan Security) giving me dirty looks. (alot of other security companies hate us!)

We film on the corner of 8th and Figueroa, damn this place is so busy and crowded with people. All day long were at this location and all day I couldn't put my finger on it but something was missing. My attention is taken to the RTD bus that stops on our corner, the bus driver and one of the passengers is fighting. The passenger gets out of the bus and runs up to one of our retired officers we have on set

*MENTAL NOTE*

The officers you see on a movie set are not active, they're all Retired, Bickering Racial, Grumpy Older men that are over paid guys who do nothing but sit around and eat off the craft service table sleep sitting on their bikes, read the paper all day long ( I really mean that, never seen someone stretch out the paper for the whole day before) or hang in the Moho trailer all day long. The worst part is all they do is complain about how they just came off another movie last night and they had no sleep and their making all this money. I always tell them, if you hate what your doing, then retire already for good. you old cranky bastards
So our officer on set tells the lady what anyone of us would of, call the police yourself. The police show up, apparently there was this passenger who was just about to get on the bus when the driver closed the door on them before they could fully entered. The only thing is the person's arm was caught and the bus dragged them for about 50 feet, before the passenger behind the driver and other passengers joined in to help the person being dragged by the bus, ( I wonder if this story will make the news) started beating on her.
Everyone on set starts talking about the incident, when this couple behind me ask the same question. I look down and realized what it was that I haven't seen since I been here.
The couple was in their mid 40's, they were walking their dog.

ME: That's the first dog that I seen today, matter of fact first critter that I seen today.

Now when I say critter I mean Rat, Roach, stray cats, or stray dogs, things you see in LA. I didn't even see any Pigeons!

WIFE: It's funny that you say that, cause since the New LA has been in progress there's alot of things missing.

ME: Well I'm just talking about the usual Rats, and Pigeons that flood these streets.

MAN: That's becuase their killing the pigeons too.

ME: Who is?

WIFE: The City.

MAN: Ever since these fucking yuppies have been moving in to the city, the Government is doing everything they can to clean this city up in a hurry.

WIFE: Somebody is dropping poison on the ground for the strays, rats and bugs to eat.

ME: What makes you say that?

WIFE: This is our 11th dog in 6 months.

ME: What happened to your other dogs?

WIFE: Poisoned!

MAN: We been mapping out every street we walk, and  know what streets their dropping this stuff at. We have other friends who lost their pets walking the same routes we have.

WIFE: Have you not noticed the homeless are dissapearing? There's no pigeons anywhere.

ME: Do you thinks they're poisoning the homeless too?

MAN: No, their just dropping them off in different neighborhoods.

( I can vouch for that one, seen it done many times. More on that later)

WIFE: You can't sell studio lots for Four hundred thousand and leave trash outside their windows, you need to clean it up  to attract people.

MAN: My belief is that alot of these tai wan restaraunts opening up are using the stray dogs and cats for meals on their menu's, people in this town love  that shit yet they don't know what it is.

WIFE: They think its trendy.

I knew of places in Monterey Park doing this but didn't know about places in LA, mental note.. bring own sack lunch when working in Downtown LA.

MAN: If you see anyone pouring something on the ground, shoot the mother fuckers!!

ME: Um, yeah sure.

What's really bizarre is that this isn't the first time I heard this before.

"What's wrong with this Picture?"

Wow back at lacy Studios once again, feels like I never left. Last time I was here I had that killer hiding under the staircase (Pretty scary stuff) Tonight I'm working on this movie "NEXT DAY AIR" This up and coming Director from the Music video world is shooting this flick. (I gotta tell you, the many and many entourage and hours I did on this show you would think this was a music video movie)

So I'm walking around keeping my eye on the prostitutes and drug dealers doing their biz across from us in the park when a transpo guy comes up to me.

TRANSPO: Did you hear they broke into 2 crew cars.

ME: No, Where were the cars parked?

TRANSPO: Down there. (he points to the end of the street)

ME: Why would they park way over there, when crew parking is right over here?

TRANSPO: Cause their dumbshits.

I find out later one of the cars belong to the special effects son and the other one belong to one of the actors.

EFFECTS: This is fucking bull shit, we have security and cars still get broken into. This is fucking so Ridiculous!

ME: You know that's so true, I mean why would someone park way down the block in the dark and especially in Highland Park. The best part is we have 2 parking lots with security guards in them and both lots have plenty of parking available, yet they choose to park on the street when theirs no security. That does sound Ridiculous.

EFFECTS: Why could'nt you just do your job better.

ME: I did do my job, my post is here not down the block. You been working in this biz for a long time, so you should no better not to park a car down the street away from eye sight.

EFFECTS: Well didn't you hear anything? Aren't you guys like Super Security Guards, isn't that why the line Producer uses you.

ME: I'm sorry but my super bionic hearing only picked up the dogs barking from the pound (which is across the street from us) and the car noise from the  freeway (which is also across from us) so way down the end of the block just wasn't able to be heard. And my infra red eye sight, well that upgrade hasn't been planted in me just yet.

EFFECTS: It's 1 in the morning and the Security Guard has jokes.

He walks away angry. The actor who's truck was broken into was a little more nicer.

ACTOR: I'm not mad at you, it was my fault to park my truck so far away when I should of parked my truck in one of the lots. I was just in a hurry to sign in and do my thing. It's all good brother.

The Special Effects guy must of told crew members about the cars being broken into, cause the rest of the night I kept getting crew members checking on their cars in the lot. I had to keep telling everyone it wasn't in the lot the cars were broken into but way down the end of the block. That's one little detail that Special Effect guy left out.

The night did get better got the chance to meet FERGIE (from black eye peas) she was visitng a friend on another film crew here. wow, is she so hot. Talked to her many times every time she came out to her car. I let her park in our crew parking since her friends film crew didn't have any crew parking. (mental note, bring carry camera on me at al times)

Another interesting thing about that night is after the crew was all gone, around 3:30 am we had 2 prostitute customers fight over the same prostitute who in fact was the ugliest looking creature to walk this planet. After being stabbed twice in the leg the guy finally left in defeat while the guy who won was too beat up to get serviced from the Prostitute. (go figure)

I know one thing, I'm sure I'll be back here at Lacy Studios before this year is up.